Friendship

Friendship is life. It is the air I breathe and the water I drink. Friends are the people in your life that get you through the tough times and laugh with you when you are acting crazy together. They've got your back and you've got thiers. Friendship is reliable, trustworty, and honorable. It makes you want to lay down your life for a person's smallest need and step up with courage to the mightiest challenge. Friendship is life, and that is what it means to me.

Carnegie Hall

If you are a musician then you understand the dream of performing in Carnegie Hall. As a classical musician I have always known that if you make it to Carnegie Hall, you've made it to the top. This is a dream that never dies, no matter how impossible it may seem and no matter how wonderful and talented you must be to perform there, hope will always remain. When I visited New York City in May I had the opportunity to go to Carnegie Hall, and while looking around the lobby I discovered that there was a concert that Sunday (it was Friday) that I could go to. I bought tickets and made arrangements for my Aunt to take me there, but I don't think the reality really set in. The day of the concert, as I walked into the lobby and handed my ticket to the usher, I realized "I'm going to a concert in Carnegie Hall!" I was so ecstatic and so overjoyed, but those feelings were nothing compared to what I felt when I walked through the doorway and into the concert hall. I held back my tears as I thought "I am standing in Carnegie Hall. How many others have dreamed of being here, and I finally made it! I may not be on stage yet, but I am three feet away and even that is a dream come true." I was so blessed to have this opportunity and I thank God for the encouragement He brought later in the week as I was given a chance to meet the concert master (the very best violinist) of the New York Philharmonic. I told him that he had my dream job. "Well, I won't be there forever," he said. I asked him for his autograph and this is what he wrote: "To Jamie, the dreamer. Hope they come true! - Glen Dicterow" For now I keep on dreaming, as does every musician, and I thank God that He has given me a purpose, a hope, and maybe even a place on stage at Carnegie Hall.

Chapter Six: The Familiar Street

Grace and Self Denial soon arrived at a place that seemed so dark and eerie that all would avoid it. "Why are we here?" said Grace. There came no answer. She thought she saw Self Denial through the shadows, but his form was barely visible because of the quickly encroaching darkness of night. "Well, well, well. Who do we have here?" sneered Pride. Grace jumped at a voice that was not familiar. "Who are you? What have you done with my friend." "Your friend has left you all alone," he said in a pitying voice. "You can survive without him, without anyone. He has deserted you here because he knows that you need depend on no one." It was then that the hideous form stepped out of the shadows, exposing his face to Grace. She was not startled, though, because she had been so influenced by Self Denial that instead of seeing what was really there she saw what she wanted to see. She actually thought him beautiful because of the "white glowing robes and the angelic face," as she later remembered. This was yet another sign of her increasingly gray complexion. And as she followed Pride through the shadowy streets of downtown Chicago her skin took on another, darker hue. Pride grinned at the success of his companions and secretly determined to out do them all. Suddenly, Grace realized that she was standing in the very same place where she had met Loneliness what seemed like ages ago. A chill crept up her spine as she remembered that night, but the advice and ideas of her new companions had convinced her that her actions that night no longer mattered, and she chose to continue to follow Pride through the darkness. As the two disappeared into the night Self Denial made his way back to headquarters. "Annus will be pleased, very pleased," he whispered to himself.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Faith, Hope and Love began their journey on Earth in Chicago, the very city where Pride was beginning to overtake their dear friend Grace. As they walked the streets, unseen by men, their senses were heightened. If not for their loving Maker, the presence of evil would have been unbearable. Sin existed in all capacities, from the brothels, bars, and night life to the quiet citizen full of bitterness and anger. The three had discussed possibilities and decided that their best bet was not to directly confront Grace, because she had already put up a wall of defense. Instead, they chose to show her things that might cause her to ponder her new belief system. Within hours the three companions came upon Grace, who was stumbling through a middle-class housing development. She was closely watched by Pride, but he was not leading her. Strangely enough, he was a step behind her, like a shadow that you can’t tell is there. His face was encompassed with a sly grin, which quickly faded when he sensed the presence of light. Suddenly he became alert and wheeled about to see what was there. Hope stepped out with the affirming nods of her companions and spoke his name. Quickly, he turned again, and at the sight of her great shining light he ran. If Grace had not been lost in her own thoughts she might have heard him squealing. With Pride gone Hope stepped aside to allow the chosen messenger through. The Maker had chosen Love as the best weapon against Pride, and she took her charge very seriously. Hope and Faith watched and waited as Love quietly walked up behind Grace.

Grace suddenly felt an overwhelming sensation of dizziness and pressure in her chest. The Fear that had already encompassed her heart gripped tighter as she wondered what could possibly be happening to her physical body. She did not know what to do. "He loves you," she heard almost whispered from behind her. Turning about, she saw one of the most beautiful creatures in all the Maker’s kingdom. Love stood, encompassed by a light so pure it cannot be looked at with the human eye. Within her human body, Grace had to look away. It was then that she realized what she had done to herself. Of course she recognized Love as one of her dearest friends from back home. "Home," she thought, "It would be so nice to be home." "Why can’t I look at you?" she said. Love replied in a very consoling voice, but also with sternness, "You have chosen a different path, one away from the Maker. Things you had before you will never have again, until you choose the one thing that you have yet rejected." Grace fell to her knees, face to the ground, and began to weep. "I can’t," she replied simply. "I just can’t." Within an instant the blinding light was gone and Grace looked up to find only emptiness on quiet streets. She had some how expected to be convinced to come back, and she couldn’t understand why her dear friend would leave her so soon. "I am no longer worthy of her company," she thought. Grace stood and slowly continued walking in no particular direction at all. The Maker had chosen the hard way to win her back, and in His perfect will He knew that if Grace did not come back on her own, she would never come back to stay. There would be many difficult days ahead, for both of them.

Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.

Why do we write?

Someone I work with recently said that "the true purpose of all writing is to pove the existence of God." I have been thinking about this a lot lately and I honestly have not decided if I agree with it or not. This made me think about how we all probably have different reasons for writing, and even though we all share our common love for Christ we may not share our "writing purpose." I would like to hear what you think about this. Do you believe we all have a common purpose as writers to "prove the existence of God" or do you think we all have our own separate purposes as writers? And also, why do you personally love to write? For me, I think that my purpose as a writer is not to prove the existence of God, but to bring people closer to the reality of His love through the stories that He gives me. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. :)

Chapter Five: A City to Remember

As Grace and Self Denial walked the streets of Chicago new ideas flooded Grace’s mind. Her conscience told her that these "things of the world" were wrong and not a part of the good that the Maker offered, but she quickly reminded herself that she was no longer a part of the Maker and therefore her conscience was of no value to her. Grace stared in awe at the tall, majestic buildings and the thousands of people that walked the streets. There were humans of all kinds: male, female, black, white, Asian, Indian, old, and young. It was hard for her to form a stereotype of these humans because they were all so different. "Tell me about them," she said to Self Denial. "Well," he began, "they are very independently minded creatures. The just love to do what they want, when they want and will stop at nothing to achieve their dreams, especially those in America." Grace gave him a blank stare at the mention of that strange word and, sensing her question, Self Denial went on to explain. "This planet called earth is made up of different continents, which are divided into countries, which are then divided into states, counties, cities, towns, etcetera. You know that Chicago is a city, but it is also a part of the country called America." "And what about this ‘American dream’ that you speak of? Is it a creature, a spirit like us?" At that Self Denial smiled. He was not ready by any means to disclose the schemes of Annus to Grace, for she was still in the process of deception, but he would explain a little bit about American Dream. "Yes," he replied, "American Dream is the one that keeps the hearts and minds of the people in this country going. This creature must encourage people to be friendly to their neighbors, but it also tells them that they must follow their dreams and ambitions at all costs. That is what you are doing, Grace. You are doing what you want to do, regardless of the consequences to others and to yourself." At this, Grace was again stabbed by her conscience, but she convinced herself that American Dream must be a good thing, especially if it managed a whole country. Besides, she was enjoying her newfound freedom. It was so wonderful to not have to obey anyone for a change. In her heart of hearts Grace knew that she was lying to herself, but she was not willing to admit it, for she was getting closer and closer to another creature who would soon become her friend. His name was Pride.

"Come with me, this way," said Self Denial. Grace wondered where they were going, but her complete trust of Self Denial led her to follow him unquestioningly. Little did she know she was about to be transferred from one evil creature to another. Self Denial’s time with her was over and she would soon become the charge of another of Annus’s creatures. The sun was beginning to set as Grace and Self Denial walked the streets of Chicago and Grace was beginning to think that some of the streets looked familiar.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Back at Annus’s headquarters there was much commotion. "I want to go next!" shouted Insecurity. "No, me! I want to be next!" shouted Doubt. All was suddenly quiet with one powerful word from Annus, "Silence! I have already chosen who is to be next." They waited, each one anticipating that his name would be called. Finally Annus spoke, "Pride, make your way to the meeting place." The quiet sighs from the others might have been heard if they were allowed out of the throats of Pride’s rivals, but fear of disfavor in the sight of Annus kept them in check. As Pride stepped through the door to earth they all watched with envy, hoping to be next. Annus smiled at this evidence of his power and imagined his triumph over the Maker. All would end well, he knew, for the Maker was weak inside and could never defeat Annus’s powerful force. After all, it was Annus who had successfully led so many away from the Maker in the first place. Previously creatures of great splendor and glory, all who followed Annus had formerly been subjects of the Maker. "Now they are mine," thought Annus, "and soon Grace will be too." One more rebellious angel to add to the multitudes of darkness.

Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.

Chapter Four: Earth

Grace felt overwhelmed by a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions as she was made subject to feelings one never experiences in the Maker’s kingdom. She felt the pull of time and gravity, and the worst of all, a fleshly body. She screamed in pain at the feeling of flesh and sin that engulfed her. Why did she feel so wretched, so wicked? There was no going back now. She had left the Maker’s kingdom for good, and along with it the peace and security she had once known. Her spirit struggled to get out of the flesh that encompassed it, but she was trapped like a wild animal in a cage. "This is my destiny," she though. "I will be trapped forever." Her heart told her that it never had to be this way, but as fear’s grip tightened and thoughts of comfort were replaced with anguish and resentment. Soon Grace was beginning to feel hate for what the Master had done to her. "How could He?" she though. "He could have stopped me. He could have pulled me back." As she continued muttering hateful words under her breath Grace realized that she had forgotten something. All she could see was darkness, and she began to remember that a human, the creature she had become, had eyes. Slowly she opened them and found herself walking down a paved road, desolate and alone. She wondered where she was, and where the strange creatures called humans were. "Maybe I’m not on earth," she thought. Suddenly a shadow jumped from behind a tree. Grace jumped, then realized that it was not a human that she saw, but one of her own.

At first glance it appeared to be Insecurity again, but when she took a second look Grace realized that it was a new creature that she had never seen before. In fact, never in her whole life had she given him a thought. But now things were different, and the time was right for Self Denial to introduce himself. "Hello, Grace," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "You know what your heart is telling you, that you’ve made a mistake by coming here, but don’t listen to it. Truth is not in your heart or in believing in something. Truth is what you make it out to be. You can decide what is right and wrong." This idea startled Grace. She had never thought about it before, but with new ideas flying at her as she met each new creature she thought maybe this idea was a good one. "All right," she said, easily falling into his trap. "I decide that coming here was right and that I can do whatever I want." "Very good," scoffed Self Denial. "Now take it even further. You can decide that what you did in Chicago was not a mistake, but was the right decision." Grace took a sharp breath as Self Denial mentioned Chicago. How did he know about that? Well, it doesn’t matter anyway, she thought. I like his ideas. After a long silence Grace asked where she was. "Why, earth of course," he replied. "And I have been sent as your guide. I will show you how this planet works, if you like." Grace agreed to the plan and the two of them began walking side by side down the long, windy, road.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The evil creature Annus was not the only one planning. Back in the Maker’s kingdom a counsel had been called at the Makers abode. All of Grace’s friends, including Hope, Love, Joy, Faith, and Forgiveness, were there along with many other creatures of light. All looked into the gentle, loving eyes of the Maker and waited for him to speak. Finally, he said, "Grace has chosen to leave us." With that a hush fell over the small crowd in the Maker’s living room. "She has gone to earth, relinquishing all claim to me and my kingdom." Quietly, Forgiveness began to sob, her shoulders shaking. No one could understand why Grace had done this terrible thing. The Maker continued, "So far she has listened to Fear, followed Insecurity, and is now walking side by side with Self Denial. We must save her before it is too late. I could do it on my own, but I choose to use her three best friends, Faith, Hope, and Love." The three that were mentioned stood and came forward, their pure white gowns flowing in the breeze and tears streaming down their faces. "Your will be done," they said quietly. The maker, with great sadness in his eyes, told them that they had to go to earth. "It is the only way," he said. The three left the building quietly, heading for the same ornate door grace had past through just hours before. When they stepped through, they were encompassed by a quite different felling than Grace had been. Yes, they could sense time, gravity, and even sin, but they were not subject to it. As servants of the Maker on a mission for him they knew that his love and security would carry them as they searched for their missing friend.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Self Denial and Grace continued on their journey, and soon they came to a small farm. Grace jumped at the sound of a tractor starting and realized that there was a person on it. You cannot imagine the thoughts that went through her mind as she saw the man. It was not her first time to see a human, if you remember her trip to Chicago, but she had seen very few and each time she was fascinated. His long gray beard was full of the soil that he worked with and he wore blue, musty overalls over a shirt that probably used to be white. He appeared to be very concentrated on his work, and the noise of the tractor kept him from noticing the slightest movement, although it would not have mattered anyway, because Grace and Self Denial could not be seen by the humans. They were able watch and observe without being noticed. It is a gift given only to those that are from the kingdoms of light and darkness. Grace was in danger, though, of becoming visible. Even after all her mistakes she was still a member of the Maker’s kingdom but if she became rebellious she could very easily turn gray, and then the humans would be able to see her. Do not mistake my meaning, for there is no middle ground between light and darkness. I speak only of one who is becoming progressively more dark, and one of those progressions is the color gray.

Grace and Self Denial moved on down the road and soon came to a door visible only to them. "Do you care to go to a city?" whispered Self Denial. "Yes," said Grace, "I would very much like to see a lot of humans at one time." "Then step through this door, and we will be there." For a moment Grace was suspicious of Self Denial, and she remembered her other friends back home. But the suspicion lasted only a moment and she stepped through the door, with almost complete trust in Self Denial. When she opened her eyes she was standing in front of a sign that read "Chicago post office." Did we have to come to this city, she wondered. There were so many things here to remind her of her fall. Suddenly, and almost without thinking she repeated the words that Self Denial had planted in her mind a few hours earlier. "I did not make a mistake in Chicago, I made the right choice." With that she felt a stab of guilt but chose to ignore it. She had taken the first step to changing colors, and her complexion took on a slight gray hue, causing Self Denial to smile.

Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.

Life

Yes, it has been a week since I last posted. Nothing exciting has happened in that time, but I have learned a lot about myself. Each day, as I endeavor to make a difference for my Lord at my job and with my friends, I learn how much I need His help, and how little I can accomplish on my own. The older I get, the more I find the need to develop my own convictions. Yet, as I stand alone in places that my parents can not come (like my job), I realize that I need to constantly remind myself of what I believe. I know deep in my heart what I belive, but it is truely a struggle to let it come out in my every day actions. I want so desperately for the people around me to see Jesus in me, but it is very easy to let the Devil tell me that it is not important. So day to day I struggle to defeat that lie, and to let Jesus live through me.

I will be getting my computer (which has been out for repairs) back tonight, so I will soon post the next chapter of my story. Thanks to all of you who have kept up with it. :)

The Miracle of Life

I am overwhelmed with such a feeling of love when I place my hand on my friend's very large stomach. Yes, one of my best friends is six months pregnant. I find myself wanting to hug her and cry every time I see her, because I am so amazed at the miracle growing inside of her, and also have such great respect for what she is going through. Although I can never understand the feelings she is experiencing, I find myself wanting so badly to go through this with her. The truth is, she is changing in a way that I can not comprehend, and I am being left behind. Yes, it makes me sad, but I am beginning to realize as all of my friends (and me too!) are getting older that life takes people in different directions, and sometimes you are not allowed to bring all of your friends along. Just as I walk on to campus every day, feeling like school is my second home, she walks around with a second life inside of her. Neither of us can understand the other one's life, yet I pray that our friendship endures. I suppose that is the most true test of friendship, to be able to stay close when your lives are so distinctly separated. I have passed the test with my very best friend who has lived two states away for more than six years and has been married for six months. We are still best friends, and will be forever. We teach each other about our different lives, and remain connected through our love for Christ and each other. I pray I can pass this test of friendship a second time.

Summer continues!

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while, but "the coffee business" has kept me so buisy that I haven't had time for much but making coffee and sleeping. Most days I have to be at work before 7 am, sometimes even as early as 4:45 am! My job is so much fun and all the people I work with are great, so it is really nice because the time flies while I'm working. I can't even think about counting minutes...I'm lucky if I get to look at the clock once or twice. I have attempted to start my summer reading, but it hasn't happened yet. It is hard for me to start a book, but I know that once I get into it I will not want to do anything else but read. I plan to begin practicing violin next week because I will have to prepare for the Baylor Symphony auditions, which are in August. I also would like to continue my study of German so I can take that CLEP test at the end of the summer. The book I've been trying to start is "The Heavenly Man". I don't know the name of the author offhand, but it is about Christian Brother Yun (I think), who is/was a persecuted Christian in China. I'm looking forward to reading it very much. Anyway, I thought I'd just give an update. Hope all of your summers are going well!

Summer Reading

Just in case anyone is looking for something interesting to read this summer, check out Till We Have Faces by C. S. Lewis. It's a fascinating story from ancient Greek mythology. I read that Lewis used the story to portray Christianity, but I found no connection at all, so let me know if you're able to see beyond the story. I would be very interested to hear your perspective. Have a wonderful week!

Chapter Three: Grace's Escape

Grace walked to her own residence, which was small and only moderately beautiful compared to that of the Maker. Still, she had been happy there. She reminisced on happier times as she walked, but at the same time a plan unfolded in her mind. "I am no longer good enough for him," she thought. "There is no way I can accept the Maker’s forgiveness, it’s too good to be true." She began to walk faster and soon broke into a run as she got closer to home. She did not see him, but Fear was chasing her as she ran, steadily increasing his grip on her heart. By the time she reached home, Grace’s heart was fully encompassed by the giant hands of Fear, and he laughed mockingly at his success. "That was easy!" he squealed. "Just wait until I report back to Annus." Grace entered the house, not bothering to close the door behind her. Fear followed her in and watched as he controlled her heart. She ran to her room and began tearing belongings from the bookshelves and windowsills. She ripped clothing from her dresser droors and stuffed it in an old, tattered suitcase. She sat on it as she latched the top, but when she yanked it from her bed, the handle fell off. Grace was overcome with emotions and sank down on her bed to weep. Finally, she fell asleep.

At 2:00 am Grace heard a loud crash and started out of bed. The front door had been slammed shut by the wind. "I’ve got to get out of here," she thought. She now realized that running frantically through the streets in broad daylight would not have been the most effective plan. She tiptoed out of bed and grabbed her suitcase, leaving the house quietly. She would have to find another way to escape. As she walked down main street, the gold pavement lighting the way, an ugly creature stepped out of the shadows. "I will help you to escape," sneered Insecurity. Grace jumped and backed up, trapping herself against the wall of the nearest building. "Who are you?" she said, her voice shaky. "They don’t want you here. The Maker told me just this evening that you were a disgrace to his kingdom. Leave with me and escape your impending punishment." "Punishment? The Maker told me he would forgive me," said grace nervously, still not sure who she was speaking to. "If you stay, you will be punished by shunning," said Insecurity, proud of his deceptive lies." Grace, forgetting that believing the lies of one of Annus’ creatures was what had gotten her into trouble in the first place, spoke to this creature one final time. "I want to go to the place where the humans live, that place they call Earth." Insecurity spoke two quiet words, "follow me." He disappeared into the shadows once again and Grace hurried after him with Fear not to far behind.

A messenger arrived at the meeting place where Annus was impatiently waiting for him. "All is well," said the messenger. "Grace’s heart belongs to Fear and she is following Insecurity through the darkness." Annus smiled and let out a haughty laugh. All was going just as planned. Soon, one of the Maker’s own would belong to him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As grace followed Insecurity blindly, she began to feel more confident in her choice. She believed now that there was no way for her to be reconciled with the Maker, and her only choice was to leave his Kingdom. After what seemed like hours of traveling in darkness, Insecurity and Grace arrived at a very large ornate door. It was decorated with symbols of all the feelings one could imagine: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, hurt, love, and hate. "There is something you must do before you can enter," said Insecurity. "Yes," murmured Grace pitifully, "What is it?" Insecurity, sneering at his success, answered her confidently, "You must relinquish your claim to the Maker’s kingdom. Once you leave you must understand that it is His decision to let you back in." "I do," said Grace as she let go of her suitcase, letting it fall to the ground. "I relinquish all claim." The Maker, who had been watching the whole ordeal let out a wail at these words and fell to his knees, weeping. "Why won’t she accept my forgiveness," he thought. I was so close to her and now she has rejected me." The door opened and Grace stepped through into the planet Earth.

Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.

Changes and decisions...

I got back from my trip to New York City last tuesday, nearly a week ago. I learned so many things, and I was so challenged in my music. I was a little discouraged because I know that I am not at the "Juilliard level", but I am also very driven now to bring myself up to that level. That is where my upcoming decision comes in: I have to decide what college to transfer to after the spring of 2006. Before college I never thought this far ahead about anything, and it is still strange to me, but I realize that there are deadlines, so I ask for your prayers as I make this decision. Thanks a bunch!

Chapter Two: The Master Plan

Annus, the head of all the dark creatures, called a meeting at his headquarters. He had spoken with loneliness after his meeting with Grace in Chicago and commended the creature for his astounding deception of one that belonged to the Maker. It was exceptionally rare for one of the Maker’s own to be deceived, but Grace had fallen into the trap, and now the whole of the dark side was preparing to win her over. The dark side was made up entirely of those that had fallen from the Makers favor and winning another over was more to hurt the Maker than to benefit darkness. Annus’ whole goal was to make the Maker miserable, as long as his days continued. He knew his time was short, and he was counting the minutes.

As the creatures of darkness gathered, Annus scanned the crowd. He saw some of his personal favorites, Fear, Pride, Hate, Deception, Rejection, and Rebellion, sitting close to the front in their reserved seats. They were talking about their most recent expeditions on the human planet. "I have completely taken over the lives of a woman and her family," said Fear with a snarl. "The woman has cancer and instead of turning to the Maker, they turned to me. I’ll keep them wondering and waiting in agony every minute of their life!" He sat back in his chair with a humph, satisfied that he had outdone all other creatures. "That’s nothing compared to mine," said Rebellion. I have succeeded in causing 300 teenagers to run away from home in the last month. They’re out on the streets, weeping and moaning, but too prideful to go home." "I’ll take credit for them not returning," said Pride. "I was the one who put arrogance in their heart."

Silence reigned over the previously restless audience as Annus stood, his power overcoming them all. He was not as one would expect the leader of darkness to be. In contrast, he was a very beautiful creature. His robe was made of white satin and he glowed in tranquility. When speaking to his subjects he was forceful, but when engaged in deception his voice was as soft as that of a whisper. He had an aura of peace about him that attracted even the Maker’s most loyal servant. His powerful voice boomed as he spoke to the crowd. "I have called you here for a very serious matter. We have succeeded in deceiving one of the Maker’s own. Now we must convert her." Hate rose, shaking, and in his squeaky voice volunteered for the job. "Silence!" shouted Annus. "This will be a job for many, but only the strongest will go. You will be battling the powerful forces of the Maker. Although we will win, we must not underestimate his power." The dark creatures stared in wonder, each pleading in his heart to be chosen. Anyone who succeeded in this task would be forever in Annus’ favor. "You will step forward as I call your name," said Annus, now more calm. "The ones I have chosen are Fear, Doubt, Insecurity, Rejection, Rebellion and Self Denial. Your leader will be the one who has made this possible, the one who met Grace in Chicago and led her astray. His name is Loneliness."

As his name was mentioned, loneliness stood and approached the front of the auditorium. Annus stepped back to watch his plan unfold. He was curious to see what kind of a leader this new favorite would be. If Loneliness was nervous no one could tell. His features were firm, set in a frown. His dark cape hung low, almost dragging on the ground, as he walked toward the stage. A hush fell over the crowd as this powerful creature stood to speak. "I have always been powerful," he said, "but we are in the dawn of a new era in which I will have great dominion!" Fear shook involuntarily. Was this new favorite of Annus’ going to dominate darkness? Loneliness continued, "We will conquer the whole human race with a new strategy. No longer will our main forces be rebellion, hate, and violence. From now on we will use fear, insecurity, and loneliness to destroy the Maker’s creation. His "children" as he calls them will be utterly and completely destroyed to the point of submission. Are you with me?" The creatures of darkness stood and cheered. They were all beginning to see the reality in the new strategy. Annus smiled slyly as he watched his subjects. This could very well be the best thing to happen to darkness since Nazi Germany.


Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.

Chapter One: The Fall

Grace wandered through the dark and dreary streets of downtown Chicago, wondering if she had taken a wrong turn. The Maker had told her that she would find a child, lost and alone on a deserted street. She had been wandering around for hours with no sign of a lost child. Suddenly, as she rounded a corner, she came face to face with a hideous being of inferior proportions. With a sinister laugh this creature called loneliness confronted Grace with his opinion of the situation. "I have already found the child, and it belongs to me now," said loneliness. Grace did not know what to say. She had never felt failure so strongly. She stared for a moment at the creature before her, then turned away, disappointed that she had failed. What she did not know was that she had believed the lies of loneliness, and chosen failure instead of hope.

As Grace made her way back to the Maker’s residence, she wondered what his reaction to her failure would be. Would he be angry? Would he still love her? She could see the Maker’s house from the end of the street, it’s diamond windows gleaming in the sunlight. The beams were made of pure gold, inlaid with precious stones. The satin shades on the inner windows were drawn back, revealing the Maker speaking with someone. "I shouldn’t bother him," she thought. She debated whether this was a good enough excuse to avoid confronting him, but as she approached the doorway she saw his visitor, another of her kind, leaving the house. Hope, who had just been to speak with the Maker, said a few simple words, "I missed you yesterday. Why did you not call for me?". These words penetrated Grace’s heart as the two passed on the golden walkway. Grace now had no choice but to enter.

Relief flooded her as she saw the Maker come to the doorway and smile reassuringly. He turned to walk in the house and she followed. Although she had been to his residence countless times, the fineries never ceased to amaze her. The tapestries were braded gold, silver, and bronze, the walls were covered in gems, and the furniture was made out of pure lace and satin linens. The Maker invited Grace to sit in her usual chair, but this was not like her usual times of fellowship with him. In the past she had sat in her favorite royal purple linen chair, talking and laughing with him, but now she was unsure of herself. The lies of doubt and insecurity were creeping into her mind. She saw everything as through a fog, confusing and indistinguishable. The Maker spoke. "You could have told him no," he said. "I don’t understand," said Grace nervously. "who are you talking about?" The Maker let out a sad sigh and continued. "When you met loneliness last night in Chicago you could have said no to his lies and continued on your search for the child." "How could I? The child already belonged to loneliness, I had no power to take it back," said Grace. "Maybe you did not have any power," said the Maker, "but if you had only asked, I would have come and helped you." Grace was again flooded with guilt as she realized the depth of her mistake. She knew all the time that loneliness had no power over the Maker, or even herself, but she had fallen when she believed that hideous creature’s lies. A child’s life was forever changed because she had forgotten her Maker’s precious words, "I will never leave you or forsake you." The Maker’s voice brought her back to reality as he explained that all she needed to do was to ask for forgiveness and her mistake would be wiped from his memory. She knew this was true, but she felt the need to think about it. "I have to go," she said standing up suddenly. She was not yet ready to accept his love. She felt her mistake had been too big. The Maker allowed her to go, but his heart was torn apart as she walked out the door. He looked at the wounded hand he had rested on the doorpost, and wept.


Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.

Starbucks and the World of Coffee

I stepped into a new world today: the world of gormet coffee. Yes, I am now an employee of Starbucks Coffee Company. It's so much fun!! Come read a book and sip a mocha!

Harry Potter...

Some time ago I was considering the effect that the Harry Potter books and movies are having on children. Witchcraft and sorcery are accepted as ok, and even fun. This is SO damaging to our culture and to the very truth that needs to be taught to these children. While considering this, I thought about a way to counteract this negative influence. I decided to write a book of my own that shared truth and light instead of lies and darkness. I have been writing it off and on over the past few years, and I thought I might share the first few chapters with you. Would anyone be interested in giving me an honest critique? I would really apprecitate it! I find that inspiration is exciting, but I don't know if what comes out of it is readable or enjoyable.

Two Words...

...I'm finished!!! (extra word: Yay!)

Quiet

As I listen to the quiet evening, I wonder what life will be like in a few days, when finals are finished. My dad has told me several times this month "You know that old saying, 'If the devil can't make you bad, he'll make you buisy'?" Well, maybe that's what happened, and maybe not, but I know that I have been far buisier that anyone ever should be. I think we all know the feeling of running from one thing to another with no time to breathe in between, much less time to stop and pray. During these times I find myself praying mostly for peace (while I'm in the car, headed to the next activity) The difficulty in this is the "fact" that all of these activities are important. Have you heard of the book There Were Two Trees? I know there must be so many things that I am doing that are "good things", but not "God things". So now that the semester is over, and this endless Monday that has lasted for the past three weeks is finished, I will have time to sit, rest, and ponder. What will I ponder? Well, there is my book that I plan to finish, and my other book that I plan to start, but I want to put a particular book on the top of the list. One that has special meaning for my life. (Can you guess which one I'm talking about?) Yes, you guesed right (at least I think you did). I want to study the Bible. I have felt so, well, crunched for time lately that the most I have gotten is my daily portion before I go to bed. I am so excited about having free time to spend just reading and praying, but most of all I want to develop a dependence on it that will last a lifetime. Yes, I know I should already be totally dependent on God and his word for sustenance, and in a way I am, but I want to go deeper. I want to reach a point where I am so dependent on Him that to miss a morning spent with Him would cause me deep distress. I suppose we all reach this point at some time in our lives, and my time is now. I am ready to go deep sea diving, but with this diving suit the only way to replenish your oxygen is to go deeper. In one of my favorite songs Steven Curtis Chapman says it perfectly: "I'm divin' in!"

Here Comes Summer!

Summer is just around the corner, and with it comes a change of pace. I have completed three classes, and only four remain. I will be totally finished by next Wednesday. Yay! I am very excited about all the free time I will have once I'm finished. I am already compiling a list of books to read. This inclues finishing The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King as well as reading The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun (with Paul Hathaway). Who knows, maybe I'll even finish my quilt this summer! I am very excited about the possibility of a job at Starbucks. I've always wanted to work at a coffee shop...I think it would be lots of fun. I am also planning to study my German this summer (it's been about a year since I've seriously spoken it) so I can take the German Clep in August. Life will be exciting next fall too, but I don't want to look that far ahead right now. I'm still enjoying the moment, especially with regards to my special new friend Courtney. I only met her in January and she is transferring to DBU in August, so I will not see her very often. I thank God for the blessings of this year, and the blessings to come. Enjoy your spring!

God can change our hearts in more ways than one

Wow! What a week this has been! Dad had triple bypass sugery on Tuesday after going to the emergency room on Sunday morning. He had been having a progressive heart attack all the previous night. I thank God for the many blessings He has given us during this past week. So many friends have stood by us, bringing us meals and sending us flowers, and so many people have helped speed Dad's recovery with thier prayers. Thanks to all of you who were praying! Dad is still in the hospital, but should be coming home in a couple of days. Right now the main concen is the infection in his arms due to an I V that was left in too long. Please pray for a quick healing on that one as well.
I want to share with you a special miracle that God gave us. For a while now Dad has had severe blockage in two of his main arteries (there are three). When he got to the hospital, the tests showed that two arteries were completely blocked and the third was almost 90% blocked. The whole left side of his heart was stopped from flowing, except that the right side of his heart grew veins over to the left side. That is what kept him alive. Thank you Jesus!
Again, I appreicate your prayers so much. Once again God has showed me how much He cares and I am truly blessed by our many friends who have come to the rescue this week.