Yes, I am alive. Although I have been quite distant from the world of blogdom for a long time now, my life has continued in its normality. Except that it has been normality times ten, if you know what I mean. Each time I begin to sit down and reach for a book or close my eyes my mind reminds me of another essay that needs to be written for a scholarship application or a measure in my piece that is not up to standard for the performance yet. Sometimes my body is crying out for rest, and all I want to do is to sleep. But most of the time I forget my tiredness and just trudge on through the day. My biggest struggle is to find adventure, and to renew the love of life that is so important.
My latest challenge has been "abiding", and by that I mean walking hand in hand with my Creator, listening at every second, always willing to do what He asks. I want this to become a reality in my life, so I am beginning now. I can tell it will be a long process :) I struggle with reaching out of myself and seeing the hurt or joy in another's eyes. My prayer lately has been "Father, break my heart for the lost." I want to live to serve, that has always been in my heart, but my flesh continuously tells me that serving myself is all that is important. I believe that life is a constant battle to silence that voice and listen to the Voice of Truth that speaks life and says "Care about them because I do, love them becuase I do, serve them because I do, be willing to die for them, because I did." That is what I want my life to be, a combination of those desires. In summary, one big adventure of walking daily with Christ, serving others, and learning to love a love that does not come from myself.
I love what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:8 "We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed: we are perplexed, but not in despair: persecuted, but not forsaken: struck down, but not destroyed" This is what gives my heart a spark of adventure - the idea of living a life totally sold out for Jesus, laying down our lives, being persecuted yet standing firm. That is what makes me excited about life. I love to witness, I love to challenge people with Truth, and I love to walk in the will of Christ and see prayers answered.
My life right now is a journey of faith. I am always learning and changing, and I am excited to allow Christ to work in me to become the woman of faith that He wants me to be. Thank you Lord that you are powerful enough to change my heart, even my heart.
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2 comments:
There's another verse somewhere (I can't remember where) that says, in effect, God will not allow us to go under any temptation greater than we can handle, but when we are under temptation, He will provide a way out for us.
Maybe we can't escape the struggles and problems of life, but God is with us and will guide us out of them, according to His wonderful grace.
By the way, if you don't like the cloggers (spam bloggers), go to your preferences and turn on word recognition, that way only real people can post comments.
I can see myself in that place too
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