Grace jumped out of bed and ran to embrace Forgiveness. "I just want to go home," she said, "but I’m afraid to face Him." "I know," replied Forgiveness, "Repentance is a hard step to take, but you know it is the right choice. Come, take my hand." With that the two stepped out of the room and walked through the house to the front door. "Are you ready?" asked Forgiveness. With a whisper so quiet it could barely be heard, Grace gave her timid answer: "Yes". The companions stepped through the door that led to the heavenly realm, and entered the Maker’s kingdom.
As Grace and Forgiveness took their first step in the Maker’s kingdom, Grace fell to her knees and began to sob. "Oh, how good it feels to be free from flesh and sin," she said. Tears of joy, stained by a broken heart, streamed down her face. She felt a heaviness on herself that had never been present in that place before, and she knew then what she must do. "Thank you," she said to Forgiveness, "but I must finish this journey on my own. I will go to see the Maker now, and I must go alone." Forgiveness smiled an understanding smile and released Grace’s hand. She turned away and walked towards her home. Now standing alone, Grace was overwhelmed with her situation. She could not believe that she was finally home, yet it did not feel the same to her. She knew that she was burdened by her sin and that the only way to become truly free was to kneel at the Maker’s feet and beg for forgiveness. With those thoughts in her mind she began to walk down the familiar streets towards the Maker’s abode. She was terrified, but something inside of her was pushing her to do the right thing. She knew where her mistakes had lead her and now was the time to turn the other way and choose life. That was the force that drove her now, a strong desire within her heart to experience life and freedom. She concentrated on these things as she approached her destination.
All was quiet on the streets as Grace neared the Maker’s home. She walked up the sidewalk with fear and trembling, but a quiet assurance within her told her that she was making the right choice. Suddenly, she looked up to see the Maker with a broad smile on his face, running towards her with open arms. Before she could react he had caught her in a full embrace and swept her off her feet. He swung her around in the air as tears of joy streamed down his face and he repeated "My daughter was lost, but now she is found!" Still holding her in his arms, he walked up the sidewalk to his home and through the front door, placing her in her favorite purple linen chair in the living room. Grace leapt out of the chair to her knees and began to weep, her tears mingling with his as he reached down to embrace her once again. "Forgive me," she said, "Oh, can you ever forgive me?" "It is done," he said. With that he took her hand and lifted her to her feet. Now standing face to face the two embraced as father and daughter, master and servant. "But after all that I have done, how can you forgive me so quickly, without a thought?," she said. "I don’t remember what you have done. It has been cast to the depths of the ocean, to be remembered no more." Grace returned to her seat, and the Maker sat across from her. She felt the heaviness lift from her and her heart become truly free as she accepted the Maker's forgiveness. "I believe we have much to talk about," he said. "If you are ready, my child, I have an assignment for you." "But what if I fail again?" she said. "How can you trust me again so quickly?" He replied by saying, "It is not a matter of trusting you now. I love you with all my heart, and I want to give you a chance to earn my trust once again." "I will go wherever you ask me to," she said. "Unto the ends of the earth, I will serve you. Your words will be mine and your thoughts my thoughts." The Maker replied by saying, "Here is your task. You will be sent to the home of those gracious people who took you in not very long ago, the parents of the lost child you encountered in Chicago, and you will guard their home and protect them. You will be my vessel to bring healing to their family and hope to their hearts. This is the task I give to you." Grace was overwhelmed with the Maker’s acceptance and love, and when he finished speaking she again fell to her knees at his feet. "It will be done, my king. My heart is forever bound to yours, and what you desire, I will do." They stood and embraced once more, and Grace left the Maker’s abode to return to her own home after a very long journey.
Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
The Heavenly Man
"I am a heavenly man! I live in Gospel village! People call me Morning Star! My father's name is Abundant Blessing! My mother's name is Faith, Hope, Love!" This is what Christian brother Yun shouted as he was arrested in Communist China. He feigned insanity, shouting at the top of his voice so that he might warn the other believers nearby of the danger at hand. Soon after the incident he was taken to prisen. After faithfully fasting for over 50 days, being repeatedly shocked by high voltage, beaten, and humiliated, Yun was still very much alive in his spirit. His body, however, was reduced to under 70 pounds. During his fast he didn't even drink water.
This is the kind of faith that changes lives. This man lived in China when Christianity was a crime and mercy was only received by renouncing Jesus. Our dear brother refused to do so, and he suffered greatly for it. I am amazed at his words. After riding for miles in a van with his wrists handcuffed to a bar on the roof, his wrists were dripping blood, seared so that the bone was showing. After asking God to receive his spirit and being so overwhelmed with pain and fear that he could hardly breathe, this is what he said: "In my proud heart I had been thinking that I was important to the church, that they needed me to lead them. Now, I vividly understood that he is God and I am but a feeble man. I realized that God didn't need me at all, and that if he ever chose to use me again it would be nothing more than a great priviledge. Suddenly the fear and pain left me." Can you believe his faith!!! I want that faith, I want a heart like that!
The story of Christian brother Yun can be found in a book called THE HEAVENLY MAN. You should read it - it's changing my life.
This is the kind of faith that changes lives. This man lived in China when Christianity was a crime and mercy was only received by renouncing Jesus. Our dear brother refused to do so, and he suffered greatly for it. I am amazed at his words. After riding for miles in a van with his wrists handcuffed to a bar on the roof, his wrists were dripping blood, seared so that the bone was showing. After asking God to receive his spirit and being so overwhelmed with pain and fear that he could hardly breathe, this is what he said: "In my proud heart I had been thinking that I was important to the church, that they needed me to lead them. Now, I vividly understood that he is God and I am but a feeble man. I realized that God didn't need me at all, and that if he ever chose to use me again it would be nothing more than a great priviledge. Suddenly the fear and pain left me." Can you believe his faith!!! I want that faith, I want a heart like that!
The story of Christian brother Yun can be found in a book called THE HEAVENLY MAN. You should read it - it's changing my life.
Friday, December 23, 2005
The third time was most definately the charm!
I saw Pride & Prejudice for the 3rd time last night and it was better than both of the other times I had seen it. The audience was very interactive, laughing and sighing, and it was so enjoyable to hear the others around me enjoying the movie. I do have to admit, though, that it was less the great literature that excited me and more the romantic theme :) A girl can get herself in trouble allowing too many thoughts of romance. My friends and I returned home in high spirits, yet knowing that we would have to come to terms with the fact that our Mr. Darcy would not make himself known for years to come. I suppose that is the exciting part of being single, learning to love life even while you know that something amazing, your ver own Mr. Darcy, waits for you just around the corner.
I apologise to the guys reading this, knowing that your perspective is quite different. I would like to know what you are thinking about during a movie like this. I think you know that the girls are swooning (well, maybe not all of the girls - I certainly wasn't) or at least dreaming of marriage. So what do you think about during a romantic comedy? What you had for dinnner? How well the acting is? I could use some feedback here.
I apologise to the guys reading this, knowing that your perspective is quite different. I would like to know what you are thinking about during a movie like this. I think you know that the girls are swooning (well, maybe not all of the girls - I certainly wasn't) or at least dreaming of marriage. So what do you think about during a romantic comedy? What you had for dinnner? How well the acting is? I could use some feedback here.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Pride and Prejudice
I saw Pride and Prejudice for the second time today and it was just as good. I am planning on seeing it again Thursday with a different friend. I love it so much, I think I might have to read the book again sometime soon! Hope you are all enjoying your holidays. If you want to read a fun story you can see it here. Good night!
- Ruth
- Ruth
Sunday, December 18, 2005
What a time we had!
We are back from Mexico as of last night, and what a time we had! I'm sure you don't need a play by play, so I'll just give you the short(er) version :)
We arrived in Mexico City late Saturday afternoon, went through a several hour process of trying to find our luggage, which they had taken off the plane in Dallas because of excess weight. We finally left with one bag, the rest still in America. We took a 3 hour buss ride from Mexico City to Puebla. It would normally take only 2 hours, but the celebration of the virgin of guadalupe was in progress and millions of pilgrims were walking to Mexico City as pennance (a very sad sight to see) Entire families carrying paintings or statues of the virgin walking 60-80 miles over a mountain pass in order to work thier way to Heaven.
Our week began with a spanish church service at the church of the orphanidge we were working at (they provided us with a translator). We ate out after church, which was a big mistake resulting in a very unpleasant day Monday. I couldn't even hold down water (it was not fun!). So we were pretty much better by Tuesday and we spent the next three days watching four young children who were not old enough to go to school. I taught several violin lessons, and we also helped supervise the kids (over 80 of them from age 14 months to 20 years) while the staff had a retreat on Thursday. Friday we traveled downtown and went to the town market. I say town, but actually it was a city of about 3 million people. We returned home last night having received 2 suitcases on Tuesday, 1 on Wednesday, and the final one when we arrived at the airport to return home. We are alive and well, and I have never appreciated water pressure or a good sewer system more! I thank God for all the experiences, good and bad, that He gave us and I am excited to say I am experiencing a heart change because of all the eye-opening things I saw. If you want to find out about the orphanidge or sponsor a child I'd love for you to visit thier web site at www.thecityofhope.org. God bless!
We arrived in Mexico City late Saturday afternoon, went through a several hour process of trying to find our luggage, which they had taken off the plane in Dallas because of excess weight. We finally left with one bag, the rest still in America. We took a 3 hour buss ride from Mexico City to Puebla. It would normally take only 2 hours, but the celebration of the virgin of guadalupe was in progress and millions of pilgrims were walking to Mexico City as pennance (a very sad sight to see) Entire families carrying paintings or statues of the virgin walking 60-80 miles over a mountain pass in order to work thier way to Heaven.
Our week began with a spanish church service at the church of the orphanidge we were working at (they provided us with a translator). We ate out after church, which was a big mistake resulting in a very unpleasant day Monday. I couldn't even hold down water (it was not fun!). So we were pretty much better by Tuesday and we spent the next three days watching four young children who were not old enough to go to school. I taught several violin lessons, and we also helped supervise the kids (over 80 of them from age 14 months to 20 years) while the staff had a retreat on Thursday. Friday we traveled downtown and went to the town market. I say town, but actually it was a city of about 3 million people. We returned home last night having received 2 suitcases on Tuesday, 1 on Wednesday, and the final one when we arrived at the airport to return home. We are alive and well, and I have never appreciated water pressure or a good sewer system more! I thank God for all the experiences, good and bad, that He gave us and I am excited to say I am experiencing a heart change because of all the eye-opening things I saw. If you want to find out about the orphanidge or sponsor a child I'd love for you to visit thier web site at www.thecityofhope.org. God bless!
Friday, December 09, 2005
Here we go!
My family and I leave tomorrow morning for Puebla, Mexico. Hope to tell you lots about it when we get back!
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Bloggs to Visit...check these out!
Ok, here is my top ten list of blogs to visit, though I don't think there are actually ten. Give me some feedback and let me know what you think (hey, that was redundant, wasn't it? I think I just repeated myself) :-D
1. www.eucharisto.blogspot.com
2. www.myspace.com/joelclarkson
3. www.what-comes-next.blogspot.com
4. www.takejoy.blogspot.com
5. www.gracestjohncross.blogspot.com
Ok, I guess it was a top five list. Well, that should keep you buisy for a while ( a few hours, at least, if you really read like you're supposed to!)
1. www.eucharisto.blogspot.com
2. www.myspace.com/joelclarkson
3. www.what-comes-next.blogspot.com
4. www.takejoy.blogspot.com
5. www.gracestjohncross.blogspot.com
Ok, I guess it was a top five list. Well, that should keep you buisy for a while ( a few hours, at least, if you really read like you're supposed to!)
Monday, December 05, 2005
That Christmas Morning Feeling...
I woke up today feeling like it was Christmas Morning. You know, that happy feeling you have inside knowing that you will jump out from under your covers to freezing cold air, you will drink hot chocolate or tea, and then you will read a book or sit by the fire. That is not what is on my calendar for today, but simply being able to enjoy an afternoon studying at Starbucks is enough to give me that "Christmas morning feeling". I played my piano jury this morning, and now I am off to Starbucks to study for my music theory final, which is in the morning. I will play a 4th and final Christmas concert tommorrow night, as I acompany the Temple High School Choir, along with about 50 other hired orchestra members. I have sung and played and listened to so much Christmas music that I feel Christmas should be over by now, but it is just starting! Friday will mark the completion of my semester as I watch my three students perform thier own concert, then my family will leave the next day for Puebla, Mexico to work with orphaned children for a week. Maybe my Christmas joy for today is simply a prelude for what is to come - many more happy days by the fire enjoying the Christmas Season. I wish you all an early Merry Christmas!
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Pride and Prejudice
I saw the new movie "Pride and Prejudice" tonight and it far exceeded my expectations. The plot was very congruent and it did not seem at all like they had left things out, although they obviousy had to. The original movie was six hours long, and since this one was only two and a half hours I expected a big difference in quality. I was pleasantly surprised to find only a few changes. All the "important" events were in the movie and only a few things, such as the location of a scene or the particular way something happened, were changed. The acting was wonderful and the story, which was, of course, written by Jane Austin, was extraurdinary. I remember reading the book a few years ago and instantly falling in love with the characters. It is definately a book on my top ten list.
In conclusion, I recommend that everyone see the movie, but if you haven't read the book definately do that first. There is something special about being able to create the pictures in your mind before having seen someone else's idea of the story. Once you let those other ideas into your mind you can never objectively create your own.
In conclusion, I recommend that everyone see the movie, but if you haven't read the book definately do that first. There is something special about being able to create the pictures in your mind before having seen someone else's idea of the story. Once you let those other ideas into your mind you can never objectively create your own.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Chapter Nine: A Power Overthrown
Grace pondered what her friends had said to her as she lay in bed in that foreign place, and as she tossed and turned she began to be aware of a battle raging within her. For the first time she actually looked at herself in the mirror, and she was terrified by what she saw. Her human form was moderately short, about 5 feet, 3 inches tall, and her appearance was totally discheveled. Her shoulder leingth brown hair was uncombed and there were dark circles under her eyes. As she looked at her reflection, she noticed something in the background, somewhat of a shadow. She whirled around to find Doubt sitting on the bed behind her. "Do you really believe you can be saved?" he whispered. Letting out a hiss, he arose and came towards her. "The words of your so-called friends have all been lies. You have come to far, and you must never look back." With those words, Doubt disappeared, leaving Grace alone. Shaken, she returned to her reflection in the mirror and was discouraged to find a gray hugh about herself. With frustration she returned to bed and her dreary thoughts. But despite the words of doubt, within those throughts, a ray of hope began to shine. For days she thought and, yes, even prayed about what she knew in her heart to be true. She wanted to change, and the influence that the creatures of darkness had over her had been weakend by her newfound faith. After struggling with doubt for a week, she was ready to call out to her friends for help.
The creatures of light converged on the Maker’s abode once again, for the second and final council to be called on behalf of Grace was about to begin. Wonder and awe filled the hearts of these creatures as they watched their loving Maker in his attempts to bring Grace home. Was there nothing he would not do to save one of his own? The Maker began to speak, and a respectful hush fell as he did so. "I called you here today to share with you the truths of this battle we have been fighting. As the close friends of Grace, I ask you to continue to pray for her safety and for her repentence. A victory has been won in her heart and your friends, Faith, Hope, and Love, have triumphed over the Enemy." With that, He bowed his head, and those watching him might have seen a small tear slip from his eye. His love for Grace was evident, and as his servants watched him weep for her, they knew that their prayers were needed and would be received. After several moments of silence, the Maker raised his head and began to speak again. "It is time for Forgiveness to go to Earth," he said. Forgiveness, in her peacefully glowing light, came forward at His words. "My darling, my love goes with you. Speak to your friend with compassion and bring her home to us safely." To the group, he said, "thank you for coming. You may return to your homes." With the conclusion of the meeting, Forgiveness traveled to the great door and stepped through to earth, where her other three companions were waiting for her.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Grace awoke the first morning of the following week with the knowledge of a presence in the room. She sensed a calm that she hand not felt in a very long time, and she finally felt that she was ready to accept the help of her companions. She opened her eyes to find Love sitting on the bed beside her, and for the first time in a long time Love’s light was not blinding. The acceptance in the eyes of Love was so encouraging, and Grace made a choice in that moment that she was through with her rebellion, she was done following Insecurty, walking with Self Denial, and allowing Fear to controll her heart. Suddenly, she sat up in bed and embraced Love with all of her heart. Tears began streaming down her face as she renounced all of her deceivers and accepted Love as her friend once again. In the heavenly realms, Fear let out a scream as he felt his power slip away. He was once again reduced to a lowly creature of darkness, not good enough to kiss the feet of his master. "I’m so sorry," sobbed Grace. "Will you ever forgive me?" Love accepted her pleas with a ready and willing heart, but she knew she must speak once again before letting go. "I have forgiven you, but there is another who greater deserves your repentecne. Let us go to Him now." "Oh, I’m so afraid of Him," cried Grace. "Yes," said Love softly, "but in your heart you know Him well, and you know that He still loves you. Choose to believe the truth, and it will really and truly set you free." Love then released her friend from their embrace and stood to go. Panick struck Grace as she saw her friend leaving, but she was reassured by the sight of her dearest friend of all, Forgiveness, entering the room.
The creatures of light converged on the Maker’s abode once again, for the second and final council to be called on behalf of Grace was about to begin. Wonder and awe filled the hearts of these creatures as they watched their loving Maker in his attempts to bring Grace home. Was there nothing he would not do to save one of his own? The Maker began to speak, and a respectful hush fell as he did so. "I called you here today to share with you the truths of this battle we have been fighting. As the close friends of Grace, I ask you to continue to pray for her safety and for her repentence. A victory has been won in her heart and your friends, Faith, Hope, and Love, have triumphed over the Enemy." With that, He bowed his head, and those watching him might have seen a small tear slip from his eye. His love for Grace was evident, and as his servants watched him weep for her, they knew that their prayers were needed and would be received. After several moments of silence, the Maker raised his head and began to speak again. "It is time for Forgiveness to go to Earth," he said. Forgiveness, in her peacefully glowing light, came forward at His words. "My darling, my love goes with you. Speak to your friend with compassion and bring her home to us safely." To the group, he said, "thank you for coming. You may return to your homes." With the conclusion of the meeting, Forgiveness traveled to the great door and stepped through to earth, where her other three companions were waiting for her.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Grace awoke the first morning of the following week with the knowledge of a presence in the room. She sensed a calm that she hand not felt in a very long time, and she finally felt that she was ready to accept the help of her companions. She opened her eyes to find Love sitting on the bed beside her, and for the first time in a long time Love’s light was not blinding. The acceptance in the eyes of Love was so encouraging, and Grace made a choice in that moment that she was through with her rebellion, she was done following Insecurty, walking with Self Denial, and allowing Fear to controll her heart. Suddenly, she sat up in bed and embraced Love with all of her heart. Tears began streaming down her face as she renounced all of her deceivers and accepted Love as her friend once again. In the heavenly realms, Fear let out a scream as he felt his power slip away. He was once again reduced to a lowly creature of darkness, not good enough to kiss the feet of his master. "I’m so sorry," sobbed Grace. "Will you ever forgive me?" Love accepted her pleas with a ready and willing heart, but she knew she must speak once again before letting go. "I have forgiven you, but there is another who greater deserves your repentecne. Let us go to Him now." "Oh, I’m so afraid of Him," cried Grace. "Yes," said Love softly, "but in your heart you know Him well, and you know that He still loves you. Choose to believe the truth, and it will really and truly set you free." Love then released her friend from their embrace and stood to go. Panick struck Grace as she saw her friend leaving, but she was reassured by the sight of her dearest friend of all, Forgiveness, entering the room.
Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Chapter Eight: Grace's New "Home"
Grace awoke and found herself in a bed with soft covers and lush, feather-filled pillows. It took her a few moments to remember why she was there, and when she finally recalled her circumstances she let out an agitated sigh. "What have I done?" she thought. "I have brought myself to the utmost destruction, and now I must somehow explain to these people why I am here." At that moment the woman that Grace had seen earlier that morning walked into the room. Her long brown hair was pulled up into a messy knot and she wore a pair of jeans and a red cardigan over a white t-shirt. The expression on her face was kind, yet concerned. As she approached, Grace's mind began to race. "What will I tell her?" she thought. At that moment she heard a man’s voice calling, "Christine, could you come here for a minute?" The woman smiled apologetically, then quickly left the room, promising to return shortly. It was then that Grace saw for the first time that one of her kind was standing in the corner of the room. Faith stepped out of the shadows and within an instant was seated on the bed beside Grace. "You still have a chance," she whispered tearfully. Grace knew of what she spoke, and the only reply she could muster was the loss of a tear, not merely from her eye, but from the depths of her heart. "I want to change so badly," she said. "Can you help me to hold on? Can life ever be the same again?" Faith reached out and took Grace’s hand. "In our Father’s house there are many mansions. You have seen them, lived in them. Can you yet deny the truth? Let go of your hate and bitterness. Believe that you have been made worthy in the Father’s eyes and you will be set free." Grace closed her eyes, trying to stem the flow of tears. "How can I change what I have done? How can I make it better?" she said. When she opened her eyes she saw yet another of her kind. Love stood there, her blinding light once again too beautiful to look at. "What is it that is holding you back?" she asked. Grace knew immediately that it was fear. Sensing her answer, Love replied with the words of the Maker, spoken long ago. "Perfect love casts out all fear," she said. "Embrace my friendship and fear will have no power over you." With that, the two were gone, leaving Grace to ponder their words. Back at Annus’ headquarters there was a small earthquake. Grace’s heart had been softened and the realms of darkness were shaking. Fear shook as well. He knew his power had been weakened, and for once he was afraid.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Life Continues
Yes, I am alive. Although I have been quite distant from the world of blogdom for a long time now, my life has continued in its normality. Except that it has been normality times ten, if you know what I mean. Each time I begin to sit down and reach for a book or close my eyes my mind reminds me of another essay that needs to be written for a scholarship application or a measure in my piece that is not up to standard for the performance yet. Sometimes my body is crying out for rest, and all I want to do is to sleep. But most of the time I forget my tiredness and just trudge on through the day. My biggest struggle is to find adventure, and to renew the love of life that is so important.
My latest challenge has been "abiding", and by that I mean walking hand in hand with my Creator, listening at every second, always willing to do what He asks. I want this to become a reality in my life, so I am beginning now. I can tell it will be a long process :) I struggle with reaching out of myself and seeing the hurt or joy in another's eyes. My prayer lately has been "Father, break my heart for the lost." I want to live to serve, that has always been in my heart, but my flesh continuously tells me that serving myself is all that is important. I believe that life is a constant battle to silence that voice and listen to the Voice of Truth that speaks life and says "Care about them because I do, love them becuase I do, serve them because I do, be willing to die for them, because I did." That is what I want my life to be, a combination of those desires. In summary, one big adventure of walking daily with Christ, serving others, and learning to love a love that does not come from myself.
I love what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:8 "We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed: we are perplexed, but not in despair: persecuted, but not forsaken: struck down, but not destroyed" This is what gives my heart a spark of adventure - the idea of living a life totally sold out for Jesus, laying down our lives, being persecuted yet standing firm. That is what makes me excited about life. I love to witness, I love to challenge people with Truth, and I love to walk in the will of Christ and see prayers answered.
My life right now is a journey of faith. I am always learning and changing, and I am excited to allow Christ to work in me to become the woman of faith that He wants me to be. Thank you Lord that you are powerful enough to change my heart, even my heart.
My latest challenge has been "abiding", and by that I mean walking hand in hand with my Creator, listening at every second, always willing to do what He asks. I want this to become a reality in my life, so I am beginning now. I can tell it will be a long process :) I struggle with reaching out of myself and seeing the hurt or joy in another's eyes. My prayer lately has been "Father, break my heart for the lost." I want to live to serve, that has always been in my heart, but my flesh continuously tells me that serving myself is all that is important. I believe that life is a constant battle to silence that voice and listen to the Voice of Truth that speaks life and says "Care about them because I do, love them becuase I do, serve them because I do, be willing to die for them, because I did." That is what I want my life to be, a combination of those desires. In summary, one big adventure of walking daily with Christ, serving others, and learning to love a love that does not come from myself.
I love what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:8 "We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed: we are perplexed, but not in despair: persecuted, but not forsaken: struck down, but not destroyed" This is what gives my heart a spark of adventure - the idea of living a life totally sold out for Jesus, laying down our lives, being persecuted yet standing firm. That is what makes me excited about life. I love to witness, I love to challenge people with Truth, and I love to walk in the will of Christ and see prayers answered.
My life right now is a journey of faith. I am always learning and changing, and I am excited to allow Christ to work in me to become the woman of faith that He wants me to be. Thank you Lord that you are powerful enough to change my heart, even my heart.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Today is the day of salvation
What do you do when you care about someone so much, yet they don't understand this kind of love? When someone is searching for life, and that Life lives inside of you, yet they look right past you? How do live, honoring God and loving life, yet fearing for the life of this person who needs Him so desperately? They are in a time of deep searching, and they know that they are missing something, but what if they come up empty, believing that there is no hope? Oh, Lord, we can only pray. Pray for their salvation, pray for hope, pray for life, and most importantly, never give up, because today is the day of salvation! I look forward to the coming days with anticipation, waiting to see when my friend will come to know You, Lord. Every day is "today", so it may be years, but I pray that you will draw near to him as he searches. If the Lord moves your heart, those of you reading this, please pray with me also, so that another brother might be added to the fold. Amen.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Daddy's Dance
Tonight was a night to be remembered forever. It was the first annual Father-Daughter Tea and Ball. I went with my sister and my dad and we shared a special dinner together. We watched as several father-daughter teams shared a song, or a special thought, and then we danced for hours. My sister taught Dad and I to dance only two nights ago, so we pretended to know what we were doing as we tried our new swing steps. The joy in my heart as I realized how blessed I am to have a daddy that cares, that spends time with me and loves me with all his heart, was indescribable. I haven't felt that joy since my best friend's wedding last December. We all had a very special time together, and I thank God for such a special family that he has blessed me with.
Just as a side note, I discovered that Baylor University has a swing dance society and they dance every Tuesday and Thursday night. My sister and I went last thursday and it was so much fun! All the guys made sure we got to dance, and they didn't care that we didn't know how. "Just follow me," they said, and we took off in a whirl of fast footwork and twirls. If you haven't tried swing dancing, definately do so! It will enrich your life :)
Just as a side note, I discovered that Baylor University has a swing dance society and they dance every Tuesday and Thursday night. My sister and I went last thursday and it was so much fun! All the guys made sure we got to dance, and they didn't care that we didn't know how. "Just follow me," they said, and we took off in a whirl of fast footwork and twirls. If you haven't tried swing dancing, definately do so! It will enrich your life :)
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
My Song
You choose this life,
to live as one,
walking in the present,
forgetting the past, and what He has done
Long ago, before your life began
He chose the cross so you might live
He died a death unknown to man,
holding the weight of the world,
with the nails in his hands.
You choose to walk away,
rejecting His love,
You live a life of pride, and insecurity,
but your heart cries out, for the emptiness inside,
is something you can feel deeply.
Long ago, before your life began
He chose the cross so you might live
He died a death unknown to man,
holding your empty heart,
with the nails in His hands.
He holds out those pierced hands,
reaching towards you, calling you
you can choose to listen, or you can walk away again,
but he love will follow you...because...
Long ago, before your life began
He chose the cross so you might live
He died a death unknown to man,
Loving you, giving His life for yours,
with the nails in his hands.
to live as one,
walking in the present,
forgetting the past, and what He has done
Long ago, before your life began
He chose the cross so you might live
He died a death unknown to man,
holding the weight of the world,
with the nails in his hands.
You choose to walk away,
rejecting His love,
You live a life of pride, and insecurity,
but your heart cries out, for the emptiness inside,
is something you can feel deeply.
Long ago, before your life began
He chose the cross so you might live
He died a death unknown to man,
holding your empty heart,
with the nails in His hands.
He holds out those pierced hands,
reaching towards you, calling you
you can choose to listen, or you can walk away again,
but he love will follow you...because...
Long ago, before your life began
He chose the cross so you might live
He died a death unknown to man,
Loving you, giving His life for yours,
with the nails in his hands.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
The Judgement Seat of Christ
Tonight I'd like to retell a story that was told during college church last Wednesday night. An author named Richard Howard was going through a time of searching, and at the end three full days of searching God's word and praying he fell asleep, exhausted. He dreamed a powerful vision that has changed my perspective on eternity. This is what he saw.
Richard Howard was in Heaven, standing in the throne room of Jesus. He saw great masses of people, just as it says in Revalation 20:11-13, "Then I saw a great white throne and him who sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away. And there was found no place for them. And I saw the dead, small and great, standing before God, and books were opened. And another book was opened, which is the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to thier works, by the things which were written in the books. The sea gave up the dead who were in it, and Death and Hades delivered up the dead who were in them. And they were judged, each one according to his works." Richard stood in that throne room, facing the Jesus of Revalation, who was glowing brightly and had fire in his eyes. He heard two sounds: a massive praise greater than the largest sporting event. This praise resonated through the heavens. The second sound was a great wailing, a sound that Richard tought he would only hear in Hell, but he was in Heaven. These were God's children wailing.
Next, Richard saw a lady from his childhood. This lady had long since passed away, but when Richard was growing up she would alwasy come up to him in church and say "I'm praying for you Ricky, God has a great purpose for your life." She had been the one to eventually lead him to The Lord. In front of her was a pile of wood, hay and straw. The Lord Jesus held a flaming torch in his hand. He approached her, called her by her full name, and dropped the torch on her pile. As it burned it revealed a massive pile of precious jewels. She began throwing them at the feet of Jesus, praising Him with all her being.
Richard's attention was now drawn to one of his college buddies. This man had been a powerful prayer partnerer and dear friend, and had felt God's calling on himself to be a pastor and a missionary in Africa. He had fallen in love with a beautiful Christian woman, but when he proposed to her, she made him promise to give up the mission field, or she would not marry him. He did. The Lord approached him, called him by his full name, and dropped the torch on his pile of wood, hay and straw. When it finished burning, there was left a charred circle on empty ground. Richard's friend began to wail and cry with deep pain evident on his face.
Next, Jesus approached Richard. "Richard Howard," he said, and he dropped the torch. At that moment, Richard woke up.
Put yourself in this vision, and imagine Jesus walking up to you with his flaming torch. He dropps it on your pile of wood, hay, and straw. As the pile burns the materials with which you have built your life are revealed. Are you weeping or praising?
1 Corinthians 3: 9-15 says, "For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, you are God's building. According to the grace of God which was given to me, as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation, and another builds on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on it. Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each one's work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one's work, of what sort it is. If anyone's work which he as built on it endures, he will receive a reward. If anyone's work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire."
Can you imagine yourself entering heaven scorched, slightly burned, and with a charred pile of nothingness. All you have built your life on is gone, because it was not of God. I definately don't want this to happen to me! I hope this ministered to you as it did to me. Let this truth remind you to build your life up with things of God, walking in the works that He has preordained for you to do, instead of following after the world. I pray that we will all have the grace and perseverance to walk with Him.
Richard Howard was in Heaven, standing in the throne room of Jesus. He saw great masses of people, just as it says in Revalation 20:11-13, "Then I saw a great white throne and him who sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away. And there was found no place for them. And I saw the dead, small and great, standing before God, and books were opened. And another book was opened, which is the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to thier works, by the things which were written in the books. The sea gave up the dead who were in it, and Death and Hades delivered up the dead who were in them. And they were judged, each one according to his works." Richard stood in that throne room, facing the Jesus of Revalation, who was glowing brightly and had fire in his eyes. He heard two sounds: a massive praise greater than the largest sporting event. This praise resonated through the heavens. The second sound was a great wailing, a sound that Richard tought he would only hear in Hell, but he was in Heaven. These were God's children wailing.
Next, Richard saw a lady from his childhood. This lady had long since passed away, but when Richard was growing up she would alwasy come up to him in church and say "I'm praying for you Ricky, God has a great purpose for your life." She had been the one to eventually lead him to The Lord. In front of her was a pile of wood, hay and straw. The Lord Jesus held a flaming torch in his hand. He approached her, called her by her full name, and dropped the torch on her pile. As it burned it revealed a massive pile of precious jewels. She began throwing them at the feet of Jesus, praising Him with all her being.
Richard's attention was now drawn to one of his college buddies. This man had been a powerful prayer partnerer and dear friend, and had felt God's calling on himself to be a pastor and a missionary in Africa. He had fallen in love with a beautiful Christian woman, but when he proposed to her, she made him promise to give up the mission field, or she would not marry him. He did. The Lord approached him, called him by his full name, and dropped the torch on his pile of wood, hay and straw. When it finished burning, there was left a charred circle on empty ground. Richard's friend began to wail and cry with deep pain evident on his face.
Next, Jesus approached Richard. "Richard Howard," he said, and he dropped the torch. At that moment, Richard woke up.
Put yourself in this vision, and imagine Jesus walking up to you with his flaming torch. He dropps it on your pile of wood, hay, and straw. As the pile burns the materials with which you have built your life are revealed. Are you weeping or praising?
1 Corinthians 3: 9-15 says, "For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, you are God's building. According to the grace of God which was given to me, as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation, and another builds on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on it. Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each one's work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one's work, of what sort it is. If anyone's work which he as built on it endures, he will receive a reward. If anyone's work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire."
Can you imagine yourself entering heaven scorched, slightly burned, and with a charred pile of nothingness. All you have built your life on is gone, because it was not of God. I definately don't want this to happen to me! I hope this ministered to you as it did to me. Let this truth remind you to build your life up with things of God, walking in the works that He has preordained for you to do, instead of following after the world. I pray that we will all have the grace and perseverance to walk with Him.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Has it been four years?
September 11, 2001: once again, "a date that will live in infamy." What does that mean? It means we will never forget. I can still vividly remember that day. Still in high school and home schooled, I was beginning my work when mom called us to the living room to watch the news. There was a plane crash, she said. No one knew what was going on. At the age of 14 I had no comprehension of the phrases they were using. Sure, I knew what terrorist were, but a terrorist attack in America? Don't those kinds of things happen in Israel? I watched the first tower burn, the images of the plane flying into it being played over and over again. It went off course, I thought. Some people will die, but this will end and everything will be explained. I went back to my school work. Minutes later I was called back to the television with the crash of the second plane into the other World Trade Center tower. I began to doubt my assertion that this was definately not a terrorist attack. But even if it was, what did that mean? Mom said the word "war". Even then, I had no comprehension. I had never been through a war; I barely remember the election of President Bush. You must remember that age when everything is just beginning to come into perspective. As events happen you develop a gradually more clear vision of politics and world affairs. The picture was still blurry for me.
Reality struck when I was called up stairs for a third time, this time to watch the first tower collapse to the ground. As I watched images of a giant dust cloud flowing through the streets of New York my only emotion was disbelief. This isn't really happening. Then the second tower fell. I didn't know what to do. Mom said I still had to go to my dentist appointment, so I walked in to the office in a daze. Everyone was talking about New York, all televisions were tuned in to the news. I let the hygenist check my braces, feeling stupid for caring when so many people were dying. When I returned home more events were added to the list of tragedies: a plane flying into the Pentagon, the crash of Flight 93 in Pennsylvania, the evacuation of the White House. As I watched our president make his famous speech condemning terrorism I wondered if we would go to war. Little did I know that by this fourth anniversary of that terrible day, thousands more would be dead. Now I am 18. I know what the word "terrorism" means. I can smell it. I can see the images of Saddam Hussein in his hole and the videos of kidnapped innocents in Afghanistan, later unmercifully beheaded. Should we have gone to war? That is a question that I can't answer, but I can tell you the last words of my opening argument in our high school debate. Held several weeks after the war had begun, we debated whether or not to go to war. These were my words: Bush says "'we will be weakend if we wait". God says, "They that wait upon the Lord will renew thier strength." You can't argue with The Truth.
Reality struck when I was called up stairs for a third time, this time to watch the first tower collapse to the ground. As I watched images of a giant dust cloud flowing through the streets of New York my only emotion was disbelief. This isn't really happening. Then the second tower fell. I didn't know what to do. Mom said I still had to go to my dentist appointment, so I walked in to the office in a daze. Everyone was talking about New York, all televisions were tuned in to the news. I let the hygenist check my braces, feeling stupid for caring when so many people were dying. When I returned home more events were added to the list of tragedies: a plane flying into the Pentagon, the crash of Flight 93 in Pennsylvania, the evacuation of the White House. As I watched our president make his famous speech condemning terrorism I wondered if we would go to war. Little did I know that by this fourth anniversary of that terrible day, thousands more would be dead. Now I am 18. I know what the word "terrorism" means. I can smell it. I can see the images of Saddam Hussein in his hole and the videos of kidnapped innocents in Afghanistan, later unmercifully beheaded. Should we have gone to war? That is a question that I can't answer, but I can tell you the last words of my opening argument in our high school debate. Held several weeks after the war had begun, we debated whether or not to go to war. These were my words: Bush says "'we will be weakend if we wait". God says, "They that wait upon the Lord will renew thier strength." You can't argue with The Truth.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
The Story Behind the Ache
As told to me by my best friend, Jesus:
All women are born with an ache in their hearts for a companion. It begins when we are small and constantly desperate to climb into our fathers’s arms. As we grow into teenagers it materializes in the form of the common "dating game". We wonder if a certain someone "likes us", and we spend countless hours dreaming about the one we "like". But as we mature into young women and approach a marriageable age we start to experience this ache in a different way. Instead of needing to have someone in our thoughts, we are desperate for a lifelong companion. As we struggle to follow the Wisdom of the Spirit in knowing that we are not yet ready to marry, our hearts struggle to find a blance of waiting for our dream to be fulfilled when we have such a desperate need for fulfillment right now. Why, we ask, would our father in heaven give us this desperate ache in our hearts now when we know it can’t be fulfilled for several years to come? Some might say it is for us to learn patience, but the true meaning of it is this: we are living the purpose of the existence of our world. Let me elaborate. When we feel this ache in our hearts it is painful enough that we begin to wonder, Lord, have you felt this before? Do you know what I’m feeling? He replies by reminding us of the story of creation. God created us because he was eternally alone. He wanted and needed a companion, so he created man. But better than His creation of man was His design for our lives to be such an exact image of His that He also created woman. And in woman God put a tender heart with a desperate need for a mate. He put that desire in man too, perhaps not so strongly. So how does this all come together? Here is the truth. This ache in our hearts, girls, it not about us! God gave us this ache "before we were ready" because He wanted to remind us that this ache is why the earth was created! He felt this ache first and so much more stronly than we ever will. His heart ached, so He created a companion for Himself in the Church, His bride! We were given a small piece of Him in our hearts to remind us that He longs for us every day. You are His bride, and He wants you to remember that!
All women are born with an ache in their hearts for a companion. It begins when we are small and constantly desperate to climb into our fathers’s arms. As we grow into teenagers it materializes in the form of the common "dating game". We wonder if a certain someone "likes us", and we spend countless hours dreaming about the one we "like". But as we mature into young women and approach a marriageable age we start to experience this ache in a different way. Instead of needing to have someone in our thoughts, we are desperate for a lifelong companion. As we struggle to follow the Wisdom of the Spirit in knowing that we are not yet ready to marry, our hearts struggle to find a blance of waiting for our dream to be fulfilled when we have such a desperate need for fulfillment right now. Why, we ask, would our father in heaven give us this desperate ache in our hearts now when we know it can’t be fulfilled for several years to come? Some might say it is for us to learn patience, but the true meaning of it is this: we are living the purpose of the existence of our world. Let me elaborate. When we feel this ache in our hearts it is painful enough that we begin to wonder, Lord, have you felt this before? Do you know what I’m feeling? He replies by reminding us of the story of creation. God created us because he was eternally alone. He wanted and needed a companion, so he created man. But better than His creation of man was His design for our lives to be such an exact image of His that He also created woman. And in woman God put a tender heart with a desperate need for a mate. He put that desire in man too, perhaps not so strongly. So how does this all come together? Here is the truth. This ache in our hearts, girls, it not about us! God gave us this ache "before we were ready" because He wanted to remind us that this ache is why the earth was created! He felt this ache first and so much more stronly than we ever will. His heart ached, so He created a companion for Himself in the Church, His bride! We were given a small piece of Him in our hearts to remind us that He longs for us every day. You are His bride, and He wants you to remember that!
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Chapter Seven: When All Is Lost
Self Denial was very pleased with himself for his accomplishment on earth, and he knew that Annus would be pleased with him. When he walked into the chamber he saw his leader, standing in the dark room alone. To his surprise, Annus was speaking. "I thought I had beaten you when Eve persuaded Adam to eat the fruit, but in the end it was all a part of your plan," he whispered. "Then I thought I had beaten you when I persuaded kings of Israel to turn against you, but it was all a part of your plan. I tried to kill your people, but you chose Esther to save them. I tried to kill your Son, but you raised Him. This time, I will succeed. I will steal your servant from you, and you will never get her back." As Annus spoke his voice rose in pitch and soon he was yelling. Self Denial cowered in fear and inadvertently let out a sound. Annus turned and saw him there, and quickly recovered himself to ask of news.
"Master, I have handed Grace over to Pride. His is following her like a shadow and I know that she will give in. She is so weak," said Self Denial. Annus let out a haughty laugh and slapped his "good servant" on the back with approval. Self Denial winced at the pain, but tried not to show it. Just then Pride came running in, squealing like a beaten dog. "I have seen light!" he screamed. "The Master has sent messengers to Grace, and they shine with His power." "You fool!" yelled Annus. "You must never run from the light!" but he was pacing, obviously shaken. "What can we do?" said Pride, still cowering in fear. "Get away from me," shouted Annus. "Go back where you belong! I have given you a job do. It would be better for you to die than to fail. If you fail I will kill you myself." But Pride, who was more fearful of light than of Annus, did not move. Annus was fearful himself, and so decided to change his mind. "We will call a council," he said. "Summon everyone."
Within an hour all the creatures of darkness had gathered. Despite the whispers that filled the auditorium there was an aura of fear and stillness. Loneliness, the one chosen to lead this mission, stood to speak. "My brothers, the Maker has chosen to fight us." Silence reigned. "We will send a new and stronger warrior to combat these forces of light. I call upon Doubt for our next mission." With that one of the most powerful creatures in heaven or on earth stood. The creatures of darkness turned their heads as one to see him as he walked toward Loneliness. Doubt was not at all like Loneliness. He had no flowing black cape or sinister expression. Instead, he was as transparent as a shadow, with a walk like that of a person creeping on all fours, with hands not quite touching the ground. Pride, fearful as he was, was summoned to go with him. Annus’ followers were not allowed to come home without completing their mission. If Pride returned again it would mean certain death. If he failed with Grace it would mean certain death. He had no choice.
As Grace walked through the housing development in Chicago she was thinking of her choices. Suddenly, she looked up to see a woman standing there before her. It was early morning and the woman was retrieving her newspaper. The woman looked up and spoke. "Can I help you?" she asked. Grace started to answer, but then remembered that she could not be seen. She turned to see who the woman was talking to, but there was no one. Nervously Grace stuttered, "D-do you live here?" The woman looked confused. "Of course I do," she said, still in her bathrobe and slippers. The woman was like no human Grace had ever seen. She had long brown hair and gorgeous green eyes, and her slender figure could be seen even with her bathrobe on. Grace had never seen such a magnificent work of art. "He really is an artist," she thought of the Maker. She quickly snapped herself out of her reverie and looked down at her hand. She herself was now in a human body. She gasped as she saw the fingers and toes and hair of a human. Grace felt more constricted with every minute, and as she felt the flesh tightening around her she cried out. "Help me!" she said. "I’m trapped!" The startled woman ran back into her house and called her husband. "This girl needs help," she said. Grace let out one more cry of pain, then fell to the ground unconscious. She would soon begin to see the consequences of her choices at a whole new level.
Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.
"Master, I have handed Grace over to Pride. His is following her like a shadow and I know that she will give in. She is so weak," said Self Denial. Annus let out a haughty laugh and slapped his "good servant" on the back with approval. Self Denial winced at the pain, but tried not to show it. Just then Pride came running in, squealing like a beaten dog. "I have seen light!" he screamed. "The Master has sent messengers to Grace, and they shine with His power." "You fool!" yelled Annus. "You must never run from the light!" but he was pacing, obviously shaken. "What can we do?" said Pride, still cowering in fear. "Get away from me," shouted Annus. "Go back where you belong! I have given you a job do. It would be better for you to die than to fail. If you fail I will kill you myself." But Pride, who was more fearful of light than of Annus, did not move. Annus was fearful himself, and so decided to change his mind. "We will call a council," he said. "Summon everyone."
Within an hour all the creatures of darkness had gathered. Despite the whispers that filled the auditorium there was an aura of fear and stillness. Loneliness, the one chosen to lead this mission, stood to speak. "My brothers, the Maker has chosen to fight us." Silence reigned. "We will send a new and stronger warrior to combat these forces of light. I call upon Doubt for our next mission." With that one of the most powerful creatures in heaven or on earth stood. The creatures of darkness turned their heads as one to see him as he walked toward Loneliness. Doubt was not at all like Loneliness. He had no flowing black cape or sinister expression. Instead, he was as transparent as a shadow, with a walk like that of a person creeping on all fours, with hands not quite touching the ground. Pride, fearful as he was, was summoned to go with him. Annus’ followers were not allowed to come home without completing their mission. If Pride returned again it would mean certain death. If he failed with Grace it would mean certain death. He had no choice.
As Grace walked through the housing development in Chicago she was thinking of her choices. Suddenly, she looked up to see a woman standing there before her. It was early morning and the woman was retrieving her newspaper. The woman looked up and spoke. "Can I help you?" she asked. Grace started to answer, but then remembered that she could not be seen. She turned to see who the woman was talking to, but there was no one. Nervously Grace stuttered, "D-do you live here?" The woman looked confused. "Of course I do," she said, still in her bathrobe and slippers. The woman was like no human Grace had ever seen. She had long brown hair and gorgeous green eyes, and her slender figure could be seen even with her bathrobe on. Grace had never seen such a magnificent work of art. "He really is an artist," she thought of the Maker. She quickly snapped herself out of her reverie and looked down at her hand. She herself was now in a human body. She gasped as she saw the fingers and toes and hair of a human. Grace felt more constricted with every minute, and as she felt the flesh tightening around her she cried out. "Help me!" she said. "I’m trapped!" The startled woman ran back into her house and called her husband. "This girl needs help," she said. Grace let out one more cry of pain, then fell to the ground unconscious. She would soon begin to see the consequences of her choices at a whole new level.
Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Friendship
Friendship is life. It is the air I breathe and the water I drink. Friends are the people in your life that get you through the tough times and laugh with you when you are acting crazy together. They've got your back and you've got thiers. Friendship is reliable, trustworty, and honorable. It makes you want to lay down your life for a person's smallest need and step up with courage to the mightiest challenge. Friendship is life, and that is what it means to me.
Monday, August 15, 2005
Carnegie Hall
If you are a musician then you understand the dream of performing in Carnegie Hall. As a classical musician I have always known that if you make it to Carnegie Hall, you've made it to the top. This is a dream that never dies, no matter how impossible it may seem and no matter how wonderful and talented you must be to perform there, hope will always remain. When I visited New York City in May I had the opportunity to go to Carnegie Hall, and while looking around the lobby I discovered that there was a concert that Sunday (it was Friday) that I could go to. I bought tickets and made arrangements for my Aunt to take me there, but I don't think the reality really set in. The day of the concert, as I walked into the lobby and handed my ticket to the usher, I realized "I'm going to a concert in Carnegie Hall!" I was so ecstatic and so overjoyed, but those feelings were nothing compared to what I felt when I walked through the doorway and into the concert hall. 
I held back my tears as I thought "I am standing in Carnegie Hall. How many others have dreamed of being here, and I finally made it! I may not be on stage yet, but I am three feet away and even that is a dream come true." I was so blessed to have this opportunity and I thank God for the encouragement He brought later in the week as I was given a chance to meet the concert master (the very best violinist) of the New York Philharmonic. I told him that he had my dream job. "Well, I won't be there forever," he said. I asked him for his autograph and this is what he wrote: "To Jamie, the dreamer. Hope they come true! - Glen Dicterow" For now I keep on dreaming, as does every musician, and I thank God that He has given me a purpose, a hope, and maybe even a place on stage at Carnegie Hall.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Chapter Six: The Familiar Street
Grace and Self Denial soon arrived at a place that seemed so dark and eerie that all would avoid it. "Why are we here?" said Grace. There came no answer. She thought she saw Self Denial through the shadows, but his form was barely visible because of the quickly encroaching darkness of night. "Well, well, well. Who do we have here?" sneered Pride. Grace jumped at a voice that was not familiar. "Who are you? What have you done with my friend." "Your friend has left you all alone," he said in a pitying voice. "You can survive without him, without anyone. He has deserted you here because he knows that you need depend on no one." It was then that the hideous form stepped out of the shadows, exposing his face to Grace. She was not startled, though, because she had been so influenced by Self Denial that instead of seeing what was really there she saw what she wanted to see. She actually thought him beautiful because of the "white glowing robes and the angelic face," as she later remembered. This was yet another sign of her increasingly gray complexion. And as she followed Pride through the shadowy streets of downtown Chicago her skin took on another, darker hue. Pride grinned at the success of his companions and secretly determined to out do them all. Suddenly, Grace realized that she was standing in the very same place where she had met Loneliness what seemed like ages ago. A chill crept up her spine as she remembered that night, but the advice and ideas of her new companions had convinced her that her actions that night no longer mattered, and she chose to continue to follow Pride through the darkness. As the two disappeared into the night Self Denial made his way back to headquarters. "Annus will be pleased, very pleased," he whispered to himself.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Faith, Hope and Love began their journey on Earth in Chicago, the very city where Pride was beginning to overtake their dear friend Grace. As they walked the streets, unseen by men, their senses were heightened. If not for their loving Maker, the presence of evil would have been unbearable. Sin existed in all capacities, from the brothels, bars, and night life to the quiet citizen full of bitterness and anger. The three had discussed possibilities and decided that their best bet was not to directly confront Grace, because she had already put up a wall of defense. Instead, they chose to show her things that might cause her to ponder her new belief system. Within hours the three companions came upon Grace, who was stumbling through a middle-class housing development. She was closely watched by Pride, but he was not leading her. Strangely enough, he was a step behind her, like a shadow that you can’t tell is there. His face was encompassed with a sly grin, which quickly faded when he sensed the presence of light. Suddenly he became alert and wheeled about to see what was there. Hope stepped out with the affirming nods of her companions and spoke his name. Quickly, he turned again, and at the sight of her great shining light he ran. If Grace had not been lost in her own thoughts she might have heard him squealing. With Pride gone Hope stepped aside to allow the chosen messenger through. The Maker had chosen Love as the best weapon against Pride, and she took her charge very seriously. Hope and Faith watched and waited as Love quietly walked up behind Grace.
Grace suddenly felt an overwhelming sensation of dizziness and pressure in her chest. The Fear that had already encompassed her heart gripped tighter as she wondered what could possibly be happening to her physical body. She did not know what to do. "He loves you," she heard almost whispered from behind her. Turning about, she saw one of the most beautiful creatures in all the Maker’s kingdom. Love stood, encompassed by a light so pure it cannot be looked at with the human eye. Within her human body, Grace had to look away. It was then that she realized what she had done to herself. Of course she recognized Love as one of her dearest friends from back home. "Home," she thought, "It would be so nice to be home." "Why can’t I look at you?" she said. Love replied in a very consoling voice, but also with sternness, "You have chosen a different path, one away from the Maker. Things you had before you will never have again, until you choose the one thing that you have yet rejected." Grace fell to her knees, face to the ground, and began to weep. "I can’t," she replied simply. "I just can’t." Within an instant the blinding light was gone and Grace looked up to find only emptiness on quiet streets. She had some how expected to be convinced to come back, and she couldn’t understand why her dear friend would leave her so soon. "I am no longer worthy of her company," she thought. Grace stood and slowly continued walking in no particular direction at all. The Maker had chosen the hard way to win her back, and in His perfect will He knew that if Grace did not come back on her own, she would never come back to stay. There would be many difficult days ahead, for both of them.
Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Faith, Hope and Love began their journey on Earth in Chicago, the very city where Pride was beginning to overtake their dear friend Grace. As they walked the streets, unseen by men, their senses were heightened. If not for their loving Maker, the presence of evil would have been unbearable. Sin existed in all capacities, from the brothels, bars, and night life to the quiet citizen full of bitterness and anger. The three had discussed possibilities and decided that their best bet was not to directly confront Grace, because she had already put up a wall of defense. Instead, they chose to show her things that might cause her to ponder her new belief system. Within hours the three companions came upon Grace, who was stumbling through a middle-class housing development. She was closely watched by Pride, but he was not leading her. Strangely enough, he was a step behind her, like a shadow that you can’t tell is there. His face was encompassed with a sly grin, which quickly faded when he sensed the presence of light. Suddenly he became alert and wheeled about to see what was there. Hope stepped out with the affirming nods of her companions and spoke his name. Quickly, he turned again, and at the sight of her great shining light he ran. If Grace had not been lost in her own thoughts she might have heard him squealing. With Pride gone Hope stepped aside to allow the chosen messenger through. The Maker had chosen Love as the best weapon against Pride, and she took her charge very seriously. Hope and Faith watched and waited as Love quietly walked up behind Grace.
Grace suddenly felt an overwhelming sensation of dizziness and pressure in her chest. The Fear that had already encompassed her heart gripped tighter as she wondered what could possibly be happening to her physical body. She did not know what to do. "He loves you," she heard almost whispered from behind her. Turning about, she saw one of the most beautiful creatures in all the Maker’s kingdom. Love stood, encompassed by a light so pure it cannot be looked at with the human eye. Within her human body, Grace had to look away. It was then that she realized what she had done to herself. Of course she recognized Love as one of her dearest friends from back home. "Home," she thought, "It would be so nice to be home." "Why can’t I look at you?" she said. Love replied in a very consoling voice, but also with sternness, "You have chosen a different path, one away from the Maker. Things you had before you will never have again, until you choose the one thing that you have yet rejected." Grace fell to her knees, face to the ground, and began to weep. "I can’t," she replied simply. "I just can’t." Within an instant the blinding light was gone and Grace looked up to find only emptiness on quiet streets. She had some how expected to be convinced to come back, and she couldn’t understand why her dear friend would leave her so soon. "I am no longer worthy of her company," she thought. Grace stood and slowly continued walking in no particular direction at all. The Maker had chosen the hard way to win her back, and in His perfect will He knew that if Grace did not come back on her own, she would never come back to stay. There would be many difficult days ahead, for both of them.
Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Why do we write?
Someone I work with recently said that "the true purpose of all writing is to pove the existence of God." I have been thinking about this a lot lately and I honestly have not decided if I agree with it or not. This made me think about how we all probably have different reasons for writing, and even though we all share our common love for Christ we may not share our "writing purpose." I would like to hear what you think about this. Do you believe we all have a common purpose as writers to "prove the existence of God" or do you think we all have our own separate purposes as writers? And also, why do you personally love to write? For me, I think that my purpose as a writer is not to prove the existence of God, but to bring people closer to the reality of His love through the stories that He gives me. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. :)
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Chapter Five: A City to Remember
As Grace and Self Denial walked the streets of Chicago new ideas flooded Grace’s mind. Her conscience told her that these "things of the world" were wrong and not a part of the good that the Maker offered, but she quickly reminded herself that she was no longer a part of the Maker and therefore her conscience was of no value to her. Grace stared in awe at the tall, majestic buildings and the thousands of people that walked the streets. There were humans of all kinds: male, female, black, white, Asian, Indian, old, and young. It was hard for her to form a stereotype of these humans because they were all so different. "Tell me about them," she said to Self Denial. "Well," he began, "they are very independently minded creatures. The just love to do what they want, when they want and will stop at nothing to achieve their dreams, especially those in America." Grace gave him a blank stare at the mention of that strange word and, sensing her question, Self Denial went on to explain. "This planet called earth is made up of different continents, which are divided into countries, which are then divided into states, counties, cities, towns, etcetera. You know that Chicago is a city, but it is also a part of the country called America." "And what about this ‘American dream’ that you speak of? Is it a creature, a spirit like us?" At that Self Denial smiled. He was not ready by any means to disclose the schemes of Annus to Grace, for she was still in the process of deception, but he would explain a little bit about American Dream. "Yes," he replied, "American Dream is the one that keeps the hearts and minds of the people in this country going. This creature must encourage people to be friendly to their neighbors, but it also tells them that they must follow their dreams and ambitions at all costs. That is what you are doing, Grace. You are doing what you want to do, regardless of the consequences to others and to yourself." At this, Grace was again stabbed by her conscience, but she convinced herself that American Dream must be a good thing, especially if it managed a whole country. Besides, she was enjoying her newfound freedom. It was so wonderful to not have to obey anyone for a change. In her heart of hearts Grace knew that she was lying to herself, but she was not willing to admit it, for she was getting closer and closer to another creature who would soon become her friend. His name was Pride.
"Come with me, this way," said Self Denial. Grace wondered where they were going, but her complete trust of Self Denial led her to follow him unquestioningly. Little did she know she was about to be transferred from one evil creature to another. Self Denial’s time with her was over and she would soon become the charge of another of Annus’s creatures. The sun was beginning to set as Grace and Self Denial walked the streets of Chicago and Grace was beginning to think that some of the streets looked familiar.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Back at Annus’s headquarters there was much commotion. "I want to go next!" shouted Insecurity. "No, me! I want to be next!" shouted Doubt. All was suddenly quiet with one powerful word from Annus, "Silence! I have already chosen who is to be next." They waited, each one anticipating that his name would be called. Finally Annus spoke, "Pride, make your way to the meeting place." The quiet sighs from the others might have been heard if they were allowed out of the throats of Pride’s rivals, but fear of disfavor in the sight of Annus kept them in check. As Pride stepped through the door to earth they all watched with envy, hoping to be next. Annus smiled at this evidence of his power and imagined his triumph over the Maker. All would end well, he knew, for the Maker was weak inside and could never defeat Annus’s powerful force. After all, it was Annus who had successfully led so many away from the Maker in the first place. Previously creatures of great splendor and glory, all who followed Annus had formerly been subjects of the Maker. "Now they are mine," thought Annus, "and soon Grace will be too." One more rebellious angel to add to the multitudes of darkness.
Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.
"Come with me, this way," said Self Denial. Grace wondered where they were going, but her complete trust of Self Denial led her to follow him unquestioningly. Little did she know she was about to be transferred from one evil creature to another. Self Denial’s time with her was over and she would soon become the charge of another of Annus’s creatures. The sun was beginning to set as Grace and Self Denial walked the streets of Chicago and Grace was beginning to think that some of the streets looked familiar.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Back at Annus’s headquarters there was much commotion. "I want to go next!" shouted Insecurity. "No, me! I want to be next!" shouted Doubt. All was suddenly quiet with one powerful word from Annus, "Silence! I have already chosen who is to be next." They waited, each one anticipating that his name would be called. Finally Annus spoke, "Pride, make your way to the meeting place." The quiet sighs from the others might have been heard if they were allowed out of the throats of Pride’s rivals, but fear of disfavor in the sight of Annus kept them in check. As Pride stepped through the door to earth they all watched with envy, hoping to be next. Annus smiled at this evidence of his power and imagined his triumph over the Maker. All would end well, he knew, for the Maker was weak inside and could never defeat Annus’s powerful force. After all, it was Annus who had successfully led so many away from the Maker in the first place. Previously creatures of great splendor and glory, all who followed Annus had formerly been subjects of the Maker. "Now they are mine," thought Annus, "and soon Grace will be too." One more rebellious angel to add to the multitudes of darkness.
Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Chapter Four: Earth
Grace felt overwhelmed by a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions as she was made subject to feelings one never experiences in the Maker’s kingdom. She felt the pull of time and gravity, and the worst of all, a fleshly body. She screamed in pain at the feeling of flesh and sin that engulfed her. Why did she feel so wretched, so wicked? There was no going back now. She had left the Maker’s kingdom for good, and along with it the peace and security she had once known. Her spirit struggled to get out of the flesh that encompassed it, but she was trapped like a wild animal in a cage. "This is my destiny," she though. "I will be trapped forever." Her heart told her that it never had to be this way, but as fear’s grip tightened and thoughts of comfort were replaced with anguish and resentment. Soon Grace was beginning to feel hate for what the Master had done to her. "How could He?" she though. "He could have stopped me. He could have pulled me back." As she continued muttering hateful words under her breath Grace realized that she had forgotten something. All she could see was darkness, and she began to remember that a human, the creature she had become, had eyes. Slowly she opened them and found herself walking down a paved road, desolate and alone. She wondered where she was, and where the strange creatures called humans were. "Maybe I’m not on earth," she thought. Suddenly a shadow jumped from behind a tree. Grace jumped, then realized that it was not a human that she saw, but one of her own.
At first glance it appeared to be Insecurity again, but when she took a second look Grace realized that it was a new creature that she had never seen before. In fact, never in her whole life had she given him a thought. But now things were different, and the time was right for Self Denial to introduce himself. "Hello, Grace," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "You know what your heart is telling you, that you’ve made a mistake by coming here, but don’t listen to it. Truth is not in your heart or in believing in something. Truth is what you make it out to be. You can decide what is right and wrong." This idea startled Grace. She had never thought about it before, but with new ideas flying at her as she met each new creature she thought maybe this idea was a good one. "All right," she said, easily falling into his trap. "I decide that coming here was right and that I can do whatever I want." "Very good," scoffed Self Denial. "Now take it even further. You can decide that what you did in Chicago was not a mistake, but was the right decision." Grace took a sharp breath as Self Denial mentioned Chicago. How did he know about that? Well, it doesn’t matter anyway, she thought. I like his ideas. After a long silence Grace asked where she was. "Why, earth of course," he replied. "And I have been sent as your guide. I will show you how this planet works, if you like." Grace agreed to the plan and the two of them began walking side by side down the long, windy, road.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The evil creature Annus was not the only one planning. Back in the Maker’s kingdom a counsel had been called at the Makers abode. All of Grace’s friends, including Hope, Love, Joy, Faith, and Forgiveness, were there along with many other creatures of light. All looked into the gentle, loving eyes of the Maker and waited for him to speak. Finally, he said, "Grace has chosen to leave us." With that a hush fell over the small crowd in the Maker’s living room. "She has gone to earth, relinquishing all claim to me and my kingdom." Quietly, Forgiveness began to sob, her shoulders shaking. No one could understand why Grace had done this terrible thing. The Maker continued, "So far she has listened to Fear, followed Insecurity, and is now walking side by side with Self Denial. We must save her before it is too late. I could do it on my own, but I choose to use her three best friends, Faith, Hope, and Love." The three that were mentioned stood and came forward, their pure white gowns flowing in the breeze and tears streaming down their faces. "Your will be done," they said quietly. The maker, with great sadness in his eyes, told them that they had to go to earth. "It is the only way," he said. The three left the building quietly, heading for the same ornate door grace had past through just hours before. When they stepped through, they were encompassed by a quite different felling than Grace had been. Yes, they could sense time, gravity, and even sin, but they were not subject to it. As servants of the Maker on a mission for him they knew that his love and security would carry them as they searched for their missing friend.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Self Denial and Grace continued on their journey, and soon they came to a small farm. Grace jumped at the sound of a tractor starting and realized that there was a person on it. You cannot imagine the thoughts that went through her mind as she saw the man. It was not her first time to see a human, if you remember her trip to Chicago, but she had seen very few and each time she was fascinated. His long gray beard was full of the soil that he worked with and he wore blue, musty overalls over a shirt that probably used to be white. He appeared to be very concentrated on his work, and the noise of the tractor kept him from noticing the slightest movement, although it would not have mattered anyway, because Grace and Self Denial could not be seen by the humans. They were able watch and observe without being noticed. It is a gift given only to those that are from the kingdoms of light and darkness. Grace was in danger, though, of becoming visible. Even after all her mistakes she was still a member of the Maker’s kingdom but if she became rebellious she could very easily turn gray, and then the humans would be able to see her. Do not mistake my meaning, for there is no middle ground between light and darkness. I speak only of one who is becoming progressively more dark, and one of those progressions is the color gray.
Grace and Self Denial moved on down the road and soon came to a door visible only to them. "Do you care to go to a city?" whispered Self Denial. "Yes," said Grace, "I would very much like to see a lot of humans at one time." "Then step through this door, and we will be there." For a moment Grace was suspicious of Self Denial, and she remembered her other friends back home. But the suspicion lasted only a moment and she stepped through the door, with almost complete trust in Self Denial. When she opened her eyes she was standing in front of a sign that read "Chicago post office." Did we have to come to this city, she wondered. There were so many things here to remind her of her fall. Suddenly, and almost without thinking she repeated the words that Self Denial had planted in her mind a few hours earlier. "I did not make a mistake in Chicago, I made the right choice." With that she felt a stab of guilt but chose to ignore it. She had taken the first step to changing colors, and her complexion took on a slight gray hue, causing Self Denial to smile.
Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Life
Yes, it has been a week since I last posted. Nothing exciting has happened in that time, but I have learned a lot about myself. Each day, as I endeavor to make a difference for my Lord at my job and with my friends, I learn how much I need His help, and how little I can accomplish on my own. The older I get, the more I find the need to develop my own convictions. Yet, as I stand alone in places that my parents can not come (like my job), I realize that I need to constantly remind myself of what I believe. I know deep in my heart what I belive, but it is truely a struggle to let it come out in my every day actions. I want so desperately for the people around me to see Jesus in me, but it is very easy to let the Devil tell me that it is not important. So day to day I struggle to defeat that lie, and to let Jesus live through me.
I will be getting my computer (which has been out for repairs) back tonight, so I will soon post the next chapter of my story. Thanks to all of you who have kept up with it. :)
I will be getting my computer (which has been out for repairs) back tonight, so I will soon post the next chapter of my story. Thanks to all of you who have kept up with it. :)
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
The Miracle of Life
I am overwhelmed with such a feeling of love when I place my hand on my friend's very large stomach. Yes, one of my best friends is six months pregnant. I find myself wanting to hug her and cry every time I see her, because I am so amazed at the miracle growing inside of her, and also have such great respect for what she is going through. Although I can never understand the feelings she is experiencing, I find myself wanting so badly to go through this with her. The truth is, she is changing in a way that I can not comprehend, and I am being left behind. Yes, it makes me sad, but I am beginning to realize as all of my friends (and me too!) are getting older that life takes people in different directions, and sometimes you are not allowed to bring all of your friends along. Just as I walk on to campus every day, feeling like school is my second home, she walks around with a second life inside of her. Neither of us can understand the other one's life, yet I pray that our friendship endures. I suppose that is the most true test of friendship, to be able to stay close when your lives are so distinctly separated. I have passed the test with my very best friend who has lived two states away for more than six years and has been married for six months. We are still best friends, and will be forever. We teach each other about our different lives, and remain connected through our love for Christ and each other. I pray I can pass this test of friendship a second time.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Summer continues!
I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while, but "the coffee business" has kept me so buisy that I haven't had time for much but making coffee and sleeping. Most days I have to be at work before 7 am, sometimes even as early as 4:45 am! My job is so much fun and all the people I work with are great, so it is really nice because the time flies while I'm working. I can't even think about counting minutes...I'm lucky if I get to look at the clock once or twice. I have attempted to start my summer reading, but it hasn't happened yet. It is hard for me to start a book, but I know that once I get into it I will not want to do anything else but read. I plan to begin practicing violin next week because I will have to prepare for the Baylor Symphony auditions, which are in August. I also would like to continue my study of German so I can take that CLEP test at the end of the summer. The book I've been trying to start is "The Heavenly Man". I don't know the name of the author offhand, but it is about Christian Brother Yun (I think), who is/was a persecuted Christian in China. I'm looking forward to reading it very much. Anyway, I thought I'd just give an update. Hope all of your summers are going well!
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Summer Reading
Just in case anyone is looking for something interesting to read this summer, check out Till We Have Faces by C. S. Lewis. It's a fascinating story from ancient Greek mythology. I read that Lewis used the story to portray Christianity, but I found no connection at all, so let me know if you're able to see beyond the story. I would be very interested to hear your perspective. Have a wonderful week!
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Chapter Three: Grace's Escape
Grace walked to her own residence, which was small and only moderately beautiful compared to that of the Maker. Still, she had been happy there. She reminisced on happier times as she walked, but at the same time a plan unfolded in her mind. "I am no longer good enough for him," she thought. "There is no way I can accept the Maker’s forgiveness, it’s too good to be true." She began to walk faster and soon broke into a run as she got closer to home. She did not see him, but Fear was chasing her as she ran, steadily increasing his grip on her heart. By the time she reached home, Grace’s heart was fully encompassed by the giant hands of Fear, and he laughed mockingly at his success. "That was easy!" he squealed. "Just wait until I report back to Annus." Grace entered the house, not bothering to close the door behind her. Fear followed her in and watched as he controlled her heart. She ran to her room and began tearing belongings from the bookshelves and windowsills. She ripped clothing from her dresser droors and stuffed it in an old, tattered suitcase. She sat on it as she latched the top, but when she yanked it from her bed, the handle fell off. Grace was overcome with emotions and sank down on her bed to weep. Finally, she fell asleep.
At 2:00 am Grace heard a loud crash and started out of bed. The front door had been slammed shut by the wind. "I’ve got to get out of here," she thought. She now realized that running frantically through the streets in broad daylight would not have been the most effective plan. She tiptoed out of bed and grabbed her suitcase, leaving the house quietly. She would have to find another way to escape. As she walked down main street, the gold pavement lighting the way, an ugly creature stepped out of the shadows. "I will help you to escape," sneered Insecurity. Grace jumped and backed up, trapping herself against the wall of the nearest building. "Who are you?" she said, her voice shaky. "They don’t want you here. The Maker told me just this evening that you were a disgrace to his kingdom. Leave with me and escape your impending punishment." "Punishment? The Maker told me he would forgive me," said grace nervously, still not sure who she was speaking to. "If you stay, you will be punished by shunning," said Insecurity, proud of his deceptive lies." Grace, forgetting that believing the lies of one of Annus’ creatures was what had gotten her into trouble in the first place, spoke to this creature one final time. "I want to go to the place where the humans live, that place they call Earth." Insecurity spoke two quiet words, "follow me." He disappeared into the shadows once again and Grace hurried after him with Fear not to far behind.
A messenger arrived at the meeting place where Annus was impatiently waiting for him. "All is well," said the messenger. "Grace’s heart belongs to Fear and she is following Insecurity through the darkness." Annus smiled and let out a haughty laugh. All was going just as planned. Soon, one of the Maker’s own would belong to him.
As grace followed Insecurity blindly, she began to feel more confident in her choice. She believed now that there was no way for her to be reconciled with the Maker, and her only choice was to leave his Kingdom. After what seemed like hours of traveling in darkness, Insecurity and Grace arrived at a very large ornate door. It was decorated with symbols of all the feelings one could imagine: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, hurt, love, and hate. "There is something you must do before you can enter," said Insecurity. "Yes," murmured Grace pitifully, "What is it?" Insecurity, sneering at his success, answered her confidently, "You must relinquish your claim to the Maker’s kingdom. Once you leave you must understand that it is His decision to let you back in." "I do," said Grace as she let go of her suitcase, letting it fall to the ground. "I relinquish all claim." The Maker, who had been watching the whole ordeal let out a wail at these words and fell to his knees, weeping. "Why won’t she accept my forgiveness," he thought. I was so close to her and now she has rejected me." The door opened and Grace stepped through into the planet Earth.
Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.
At 2:00 am Grace heard a loud crash and started out of bed. The front door had been slammed shut by the wind. "I’ve got to get out of here," she thought. She now realized that running frantically through the streets in broad daylight would not have been the most effective plan. She tiptoed out of bed and grabbed her suitcase, leaving the house quietly. She would have to find another way to escape. As she walked down main street, the gold pavement lighting the way, an ugly creature stepped out of the shadows. "I will help you to escape," sneered Insecurity. Grace jumped and backed up, trapping herself against the wall of the nearest building. "Who are you?" she said, her voice shaky. "They don’t want you here. The Maker told me just this evening that you were a disgrace to his kingdom. Leave with me and escape your impending punishment." "Punishment? The Maker told me he would forgive me," said grace nervously, still not sure who she was speaking to. "If you stay, you will be punished by shunning," said Insecurity, proud of his deceptive lies." Grace, forgetting that believing the lies of one of Annus’ creatures was what had gotten her into trouble in the first place, spoke to this creature one final time. "I want to go to the place where the humans live, that place they call Earth." Insecurity spoke two quiet words, "follow me." He disappeared into the shadows once again and Grace hurried after him with Fear not to far behind.
A messenger arrived at the meeting place where Annus was impatiently waiting for him. "All is well," said the messenger. "Grace’s heart belongs to Fear and she is following Insecurity through the darkness." Annus smiled and let out a haughty laugh. All was going just as planned. Soon, one of the Maker’s own would belong to him.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
As grace followed Insecurity blindly, she began to feel more confident in her choice. She believed now that there was no way for her to be reconciled with the Maker, and her only choice was to leave his Kingdom. After what seemed like hours of traveling in darkness, Insecurity and Grace arrived at a very large ornate door. It was decorated with symbols of all the feelings one could imagine: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, hurt, love, and hate. "There is something you must do before you can enter," said Insecurity. "Yes," murmured Grace pitifully, "What is it?" Insecurity, sneering at his success, answered her confidently, "You must relinquish your claim to the Maker’s kingdom. Once you leave you must understand that it is His decision to let you back in." "I do," said Grace as she let go of her suitcase, letting it fall to the ground. "I relinquish all claim." The Maker, who had been watching the whole ordeal let out a wail at these words and fell to his knees, weeping. "Why won’t she accept my forgiveness," he thought. I was so close to her and now she has rejected me." The door opened and Grace stepped through into the planet Earth.
Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Changes and decisions...
I got back from my trip to New York City last tuesday, nearly a week ago. I learned so many things, and I was so challenged in my music. I was a little discouraged because I know that I am not at the "Juilliard level", but I am also very driven now to bring myself up to that level. That is where my upcoming decision comes in: I have to decide what college to transfer to after the spring of 2006. Before college I never thought this far ahead about anything, and it is still strange to me, but I realize that there are deadlines, so I ask for your prayers as I make this decision. Thanks a bunch!
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Chapter Two: The Master Plan
Annus, the head of all the dark creatures, called a meeting at his headquarters. He had spoken with loneliness after his meeting with Grace in Chicago and commended the creature for his astounding deception of one that belonged to the Maker. It was exceptionally rare for one of the Maker’s own to be deceived, but Grace had fallen into the trap, and now the whole of the dark side was preparing to win her over. The dark side was made up entirely of those that had fallen from the Makers favor and winning another over was more to hurt the Maker than to benefit darkness. Annus’ whole goal was to make the Maker miserable, as long as his days continued. He knew his time was short, and he was counting the minutes.
As the creatures of darkness gathered, Annus scanned the crowd. He saw some of his personal favorites, Fear, Pride, Hate, Deception, Rejection, and Rebellion, sitting close to the front in their reserved seats. They were talking about their most recent expeditions on the human planet. "I have completely taken over the lives of a woman and her family," said Fear with a snarl. "The woman has cancer and instead of turning to the Maker, they turned to me. I’ll keep them wondering and waiting in agony every minute of their life!" He sat back in his chair with a humph, satisfied that he had outdone all other creatures. "That’s nothing compared to mine," said Rebellion. I have succeeded in causing 300 teenagers to run away from home in the last month. They’re out on the streets, weeping and moaning, but too prideful to go home." "I’ll take credit for them not returning," said Pride. "I was the one who put arrogance in their heart."
Silence reigned over the previously restless audience as Annus stood, his power overcoming them all. He was not as one would expect the leader of darkness to be. In contrast, he was a very beautiful creature. His robe was made of white satin and he glowed in tranquility. When speaking to his subjects he was forceful, but when engaged in deception his voice was as soft as that of a whisper. He had an aura of peace about him that attracted even the Maker’s most loyal servant. His powerful voice boomed as he spoke to the crowd. "I have called you here for a very serious matter. We have succeeded in deceiving one of the Maker’s own. Now we must convert her." Hate rose, shaking, and in his squeaky voice volunteered for the job. "Silence!" shouted Annus. "This will be a job for many, but only the strongest will go. You will be battling the powerful forces of the Maker. Although we will win, we must not underestimate his power." The dark creatures stared in wonder, each pleading in his heart to be chosen. Anyone who succeeded in this task would be forever in Annus’ favor. "You will step forward as I call your name," said Annus, now more calm. "The ones I have chosen are Fear, Doubt, Insecurity, Rejection, Rebellion and Self Denial. Your leader will be the one who has made this possible, the one who met Grace in Chicago and led her astray. His name is Loneliness."
As his name was mentioned, loneliness stood and approached the front of the auditorium. Annus stepped back to watch his plan unfold. He was curious to see what kind of a leader this new favorite would be. If Loneliness was nervous no one could tell. His features were firm, set in a frown. His dark cape hung low, almost dragging on the ground, as he walked toward the stage. A hush fell over the crowd as this powerful creature stood to speak. "I have always been powerful," he said, "but we are in the dawn of a new era in which I will have great dominion!" Fear shook involuntarily. Was this new favorite of Annus’ going to dominate darkness? Loneliness continued, "We will conquer the whole human race with a new strategy. No longer will our main forces be rebellion, hate, and violence. From now on we will use fear, insecurity, and loneliness to destroy the Maker’s creation. His "children" as he calls them will be utterly and completely destroyed to the point of submission. Are you with me?" The creatures of darkness stood and cheered. They were all beginning to see the reality in the new strategy. Annus smiled slyly as he watched his subjects. This could very well be the best thing to happen to darkness since Nazi Germany.
Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.
As the creatures of darkness gathered, Annus scanned the crowd. He saw some of his personal favorites, Fear, Pride, Hate, Deception, Rejection, and Rebellion, sitting close to the front in their reserved seats. They were talking about their most recent expeditions on the human planet. "I have completely taken over the lives of a woman and her family," said Fear with a snarl. "The woman has cancer and instead of turning to the Maker, they turned to me. I’ll keep them wondering and waiting in agony every minute of their life!" He sat back in his chair with a humph, satisfied that he had outdone all other creatures. "That’s nothing compared to mine," said Rebellion. I have succeeded in causing 300 teenagers to run away from home in the last month. They’re out on the streets, weeping and moaning, but too prideful to go home." "I’ll take credit for them not returning," said Pride. "I was the one who put arrogance in their heart."
Silence reigned over the previously restless audience as Annus stood, his power overcoming them all. He was not as one would expect the leader of darkness to be. In contrast, he was a very beautiful creature. His robe was made of white satin and he glowed in tranquility. When speaking to his subjects he was forceful, but when engaged in deception his voice was as soft as that of a whisper. He had an aura of peace about him that attracted even the Maker’s most loyal servant. His powerful voice boomed as he spoke to the crowd. "I have called you here for a very serious matter. We have succeeded in deceiving one of the Maker’s own. Now we must convert her." Hate rose, shaking, and in his squeaky voice volunteered for the job. "Silence!" shouted Annus. "This will be a job for many, but only the strongest will go. You will be battling the powerful forces of the Maker. Although we will win, we must not underestimate his power." The dark creatures stared in wonder, each pleading in his heart to be chosen. Anyone who succeeded in this task would be forever in Annus’ favor. "You will step forward as I call your name," said Annus, now more calm. "The ones I have chosen are Fear, Doubt, Insecurity, Rejection, Rebellion and Self Denial. Your leader will be the one who has made this possible, the one who met Grace in Chicago and led her astray. His name is Loneliness."
As his name was mentioned, loneliness stood and approached the front of the auditorium. Annus stepped back to watch his plan unfold. He was curious to see what kind of a leader this new favorite would be. If Loneliness was nervous no one could tell. His features were firm, set in a frown. His dark cape hung low, almost dragging on the ground, as he walked toward the stage. A hush fell over the crowd as this powerful creature stood to speak. "I have always been powerful," he said, "but we are in the dawn of a new era in which I will have great dominion!" Fear shook involuntarily. Was this new favorite of Annus’ going to dominate darkness? Loneliness continued, "We will conquer the whole human race with a new strategy. No longer will our main forces be rebellion, hate, and violence. From now on we will use fear, insecurity, and loneliness to destroy the Maker’s creation. His "children" as he calls them will be utterly and completely destroyed to the point of submission. Are you with me?" The creatures of darkness stood and cheered. They were all beginning to see the reality in the new strategy. Annus smiled slyly as he watched his subjects. This could very well be the best thing to happen to darkness since Nazi Germany.
Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Chapter One: The Fall
Grace wandered through the dark and dreary streets of downtown Chicago, wondering if she had taken a wrong turn. The Maker had told her that she would find a child, lost and alone on a deserted street. She had been wandering around for hours with no sign of a lost child. Suddenly, as she rounded a corner, she came face to face with a hideous being of inferior proportions. With a sinister laugh this creature called loneliness confronted Grace with his opinion of the situation. "I have already found the child, and it belongs to me now," said loneliness. Grace did not know what to say. She had never felt failure so strongly. She stared for a moment at the creature before her, then turned away, disappointed that she had failed. What she did not know was that she had believed the lies of loneliness, and chosen failure instead of hope.
As Grace made her way back to the Maker’s residence, she wondered what his reaction to her failure would be. Would he be angry? Would he still love her? She could see the Maker’s house from the end of the street, it’s diamond windows gleaming in the sunlight. The beams were made of pure gold, inlaid with precious stones. The satin shades on the inner windows were drawn back, revealing the Maker speaking with someone. "I shouldn’t bother him," she thought. She debated whether this was a good enough excuse to avoid confronting him, but as she approached the doorway she saw his visitor, another of her kind, leaving the house. Hope, who had just been to speak with the Maker, said a few simple words, "I missed you yesterday. Why did you not call for me?". These words penetrated Grace’s heart as the two passed on the golden walkway. Grace now had no choice but to enter.
Relief flooded her as she saw the Maker come to the doorway and smile reassuringly. He turned to walk in the house and she followed. Although she had been to his residence countless times, the fineries never ceased to amaze her. The tapestries were braded gold, silver, and bronze, the walls were covered in gems, and the furniture was made out of pure lace and satin linens. The Maker invited Grace to sit in her usual chair, but this was not like her usual times of fellowship with him. In the past she had sat in her favorite royal purple linen chair, talking and laughing with him, but now she was unsure of herself. The lies of doubt and insecurity were creeping into her mind. She saw everything as through a fog, confusing and indistinguishable. The Maker spoke. "You could have told him no," he said. "I don’t understand," said Grace nervously. "who are you talking about?" The Maker let out a sad sigh and continued. "When you met loneliness last night in Chicago you could have said no to his lies and continued on your search for the child." "How could I? The child already belonged to loneliness, I had no power to take it back," said Grace. "Maybe you did not have any power," said the Maker, "but if you had only asked, I would have come and helped you." Grace was again flooded with guilt as she realized the depth of her mistake. She knew all the time that loneliness had no power over the Maker, or even herself, but she had fallen when she believed that hideous creature’s lies. A child’s life was forever changed because she had forgotten her Maker’s precious words, "I will never leave you or forsake you." The Maker’s voice brought her back to reality as he explained that all she needed to do was to ask for forgiveness and her mistake would be wiped from his memory. She knew this was true, but she felt the need to think about it. "I have to go," she said standing up suddenly. She was not yet ready to accept his love. She felt her mistake had been too big. The Maker allowed her to go, but his heart was torn apart as she walked out the door. He looked at the wounded hand he had rested on the doorpost, and wept.
Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.
As Grace made her way back to the Maker’s residence, she wondered what his reaction to her failure would be. Would he be angry? Would he still love her? She could see the Maker’s house from the end of the street, it’s diamond windows gleaming in the sunlight. The beams were made of pure gold, inlaid with precious stones. The satin shades on the inner windows were drawn back, revealing the Maker speaking with someone. "I shouldn’t bother him," she thought. She debated whether this was a good enough excuse to avoid confronting him, but as she approached the doorway she saw his visitor, another of her kind, leaving the house. Hope, who had just been to speak with the Maker, said a few simple words, "I missed you yesterday. Why did you not call for me?". These words penetrated Grace’s heart as the two passed on the golden walkway. Grace now had no choice but to enter.
Relief flooded her as she saw the Maker come to the doorway and smile reassuringly. He turned to walk in the house and she followed. Although she had been to his residence countless times, the fineries never ceased to amaze her. The tapestries were braded gold, silver, and bronze, the walls were covered in gems, and the furniture was made out of pure lace and satin linens. The Maker invited Grace to sit in her usual chair, but this was not like her usual times of fellowship with him. In the past she had sat in her favorite royal purple linen chair, talking and laughing with him, but now she was unsure of herself. The lies of doubt and insecurity were creeping into her mind. She saw everything as through a fog, confusing and indistinguishable. The Maker spoke. "You could have told him no," he said. "I don’t understand," said Grace nervously. "who are you talking about?" The Maker let out a sad sigh and continued. "When you met loneliness last night in Chicago you could have said no to his lies and continued on your search for the child." "How could I? The child already belonged to loneliness, I had no power to take it back," said Grace. "Maybe you did not have any power," said the Maker, "but if you had only asked, I would have come and helped you." Grace was again flooded with guilt as she realized the depth of her mistake. She knew all the time that loneliness had no power over the Maker, or even herself, but she had fallen when she believed that hideous creature’s lies. A child’s life was forever changed because she had forgotten her Maker’s precious words, "I will never leave you or forsake you." The Maker’s voice brought her back to reality as he explained that all she needed to do was to ask for forgiveness and her mistake would be wiped from his memory. She knew this was true, but she felt the need to think about it. "I have to go," she said standing up suddenly. She was not yet ready to accept his love. She felt her mistake had been too big. The Maker allowed her to go, but his heart was torn apart as she walked out the door. He looked at the wounded hand he had rested on the doorpost, and wept.
Copyright © 2005 by Jamie Madera. Reproduction is forbidden without permission. Contact me at jamielynne87@yahoo.com.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Starbucks and the World of Coffee
I stepped into a new world today: the world of gormet coffee. Yes, I am now an employee of Starbucks Coffee Company. It's so much fun!! Come read a book and sip a mocha!
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Harry Potter...
Some time ago I was considering the effect that the Harry Potter books and movies are having on children. Witchcraft and sorcery are accepted as ok, and even fun. This is SO damaging to our culture and to the very truth that needs to be taught to these children. While considering this, I thought about a way to counteract this negative influence. I decided to write a book of my own that shared truth and light instead of lies and darkness. I have been writing it off and on over the past few years, and I thought I might share the first few chapters with you. Would anyone be interested in giving me an honest critique? I would really apprecitate it! I find that inspiration is exciting, but I don't know if what comes out of it is readable or enjoyable.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Quiet
As I listen to the quiet evening, I wonder what life will be like in a few days, when finals are finished. My dad has told me several times this month "You know that old saying, 'If the devil can't make you bad, he'll make you buisy'?" Well, maybe that's what happened, and maybe not, but I know that I have been far buisier that anyone ever should be. I think we all know the feeling of running from one thing to another with no time to breathe in between, much less time to stop and pray. During these times I find myself praying mostly for peace (while I'm in the car, headed to the next activity) The difficulty in this is the "fact" that all of these activities are important. Have you heard of the book There Were Two Trees? I know there must be so many things that I am doing that are "good things", but not "God things". So now that the semester is over, and this endless Monday that has lasted for the past three weeks is finished, I will have time to sit, rest, and ponder. What will I ponder? Well, there is my book that I plan to finish, and my other book that I plan to start, but I want to put a particular book on the top of the list. One that has special meaning for my life. (Can you guess which one I'm talking about?) Yes, you guesed right (at least I think you did). I want to study the Bible. I have felt so, well, crunched for time lately that the most I have gotten is my daily portion before I go to bed. I am so excited about having free time to spend just reading and praying, but most of all I want to develop a dependence on it that will last a lifetime. Yes, I know I should already be totally dependent on God and his word for sustenance, and in a way I am, but I want to go deeper. I want to reach a point where I am so dependent on Him that to miss a morning spent with Him would cause me deep distress. I suppose we all reach this point at some time in our lives, and my time is now. I am ready to go deep sea diving, but with this diving suit the only way to replenish your oxygen is to go deeper. In one of my favorite songs Steven Curtis Chapman says it perfectly: "I'm divin' in!"
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Here Comes Summer!
Summer is just around the corner, and with it comes a change of pace. I have completed three classes, and only four remain. I will be totally finished by next Wednesday. Yay! I am very excited about all the free time I will have once I'm finished. I am already compiling a list of books to read. This inclues finishing The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King as well as reading The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun (with Paul Hathaway). Who knows, maybe I'll even finish my quilt this summer! I am very excited about the possibility of a job at Starbucks. I've always wanted to work at a coffee shop...I think it would be lots of fun. I am also planning to study my German this summer (it's been about a year since I've seriously spoken it) so I can take the German Clep in August. Life will be exciting next fall too, but I don't want to look that far ahead right now. I'm still enjoying the moment, especially with regards to my special new friend Courtney. I only met her in January and she is transferring to DBU in August, so I will not see her very often. I thank God for the blessings of this year, and the blessings to come. Enjoy your spring!
Monday, April 11, 2005
God can change our hearts in more ways than one
Wow! What a week this has been! Dad had triple bypass sugery on Tuesday after going to the emergency room on Sunday morning. He had been having a progressive heart attack all the previous night. I thank God for the many blessings He has given us during this past week. So many friends have stood by us, bringing us meals and sending us flowers, and so many people have helped speed Dad's recovery with thier prayers. Thanks to all of you who were praying! Dad is still in the hospital, but should be coming home in a couple of days. Right now the main concen is the infection in his arms due to an I V that was left in too long. Please pray for a quick healing on that one as well.
I want to share with you a special miracle that God gave us. For a while now Dad has had severe blockage in two of his main arteries (there are three). When he got to the hospital, the tests showed that two arteries were completely blocked and the third was almost 90% blocked. The whole left side of his heart was stopped from flowing, except that the right side of his heart grew veins over to the left side. That is what kept him alive. Thank you Jesus!
Again, I appreicate your prayers so much. Once again God has showed me how much He cares and I am truly blessed by our many friends who have come to the rescue this week.
I want to share with you a special miracle that God gave us. For a while now Dad has had severe blockage in two of his main arteries (there are three). When he got to the hospital, the tests showed that two arteries were completely blocked and the third was almost 90% blocked. The whole left side of his heart was stopped from flowing, except that the right side of his heart grew veins over to the left side. That is what kept him alive. Thank you Jesus!
Again, I appreicate your prayers so much. Once again God has showed me how much He cares and I am truly blessed by our many friends who have come to the rescue this week.
Monday, March 28, 2005
Ahavat Hashem
I was trying to find something interesting to call my blog and so today I started looking for Hebrew words with unique meanings. I found one phrase that I think will become my favorite and because it is my new blog address, I wanted to explain it to you. Ahavat Hashem means "The love of God." It is a phrase that comes from the word "Ahavah" which is Hebrew for "love." So there you go! What beautiful words to speak out loud. If you want to try it, say it like this: (ah-ha-VAT ha-SHEM).
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Following my dreams
Life is crazy right now, but I'm enjoying every minute of it. Well, maybe not every minute :) Sometimes the craziness of it becomes so rediculous (I can't even spell it) that I just stop and wonder what I am doing living a life like this. Then I remember that I am living my dream, and working towards the next one. That is what keeps me going, and that is what will help me to achieve my goals. In less than two months I am going to spend a week at Juilliard. I will be listening to the teaching of Itzalk Perlman, the most famous violinist in the world. What kind of a dream is that? To spend a week in the place idolized by musicians and actors and everyone else in the arts, as a spectator of the goings on there, and to watch the movement of a city so full of life that it is known all over the world is such a dream come true that I can't even imagine its reality. What a God I serve that He has brought me to the foot of this mountain that I have seen my whole life as through a telescope. Now I see its curves and cliffs and I realize that only I can take the first step. This gorgeous creation of God called music has been a part of my heart forever, and now God has given me the means to climb this mountain and stand at the top and sing his praises. Can you see that picture...me standing in the wind on the highest peak and playing my violin to His glory? I can because He has given me the gift of talent, the desire for success, and a passion for music that no one can take away. I pray that you find the one thing that makes your heart sing, and when you do don't ever let it go.
Friday, February 25, 2005
Practice, practice, practice...
Today was a gorgeous day in Texas. I spent the morning in class, then practiced for about an hour. My violin teacher has made such a difference in my growing as a performer. She has taught me how to practice effectively, which has helped me so much in the learning process. I learned something profound when rehearsing with the Texas All-State Orchestra last year. Our conductor, Timothy Russel, taught us that there is a problem with the phrase "practice makes perfect". If it were to be stated correctly it would be "practice makes permanent". If all you do is repeat your wrong notes they become habitual and you will continue playing it the wrong way. Playing them over and over will not make them change for the better. What a novel concept! I think this applies to every aspect of life. If you have a habbit that you don't like, simply living life will not change or elimate the habbit. You have to devote attention to change and then you will be able to make a concious change. I think this is an important concept for us to grasp...we all need change is some area of our lives. At least I know I do! Thankfully, God is gracious enough to show us when a change is needed :)
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
A Good Decision
I made a choice today that no matter how many times my mind tells me that a certain choice is wrong or unacceptable, if that choice matches up with my biblical convictions then it is far wiser for me to listen to my heart. I say this because today I chose not to go to orchestra rehearsal. I had a head ache all morning and I knew that I needed rest, but I also knew that I could tough it out if I had to. I ultimately chose to stay home and rest, and I think that is a choice we need to make more often. When our commitments overwhelm us and it seems that the only option is to keep going until we crash, it is important for us to stop and take time. Sometimes it may seem wrong, like we're letting people down, but there comes a time when we are so run down that even if we follow through with our commitments we have nothing left to give. We are no longer benefiting other people, only hurting ourselves. I certainly learned from the past few days that when I'm not rested, nothing is really getting done. God calls us to take care of our bodies because they are His temple. Remember to stop and rest. You will thank yourself later :)
Sunday, February 20, 2005
My first blog!
Hello everyone. I am very excited to be writing my very first blog! I want to tell you a little bit about myself. I am a freshman music major at MCC/Baylor University and I plan to go into private music teaching and also play in a professional orchestra. My whole life revolves around my faith in God and my belief that He has a definate plan for my future. Right now I'm living by faith, just waiting to see what the next step will be. I will graduate with an Associates degree in Violin Performance in 2006 and will hopefully then travel overseas to either Germany or Israel and spend some time experiencing culture and working as a violin teacher. I want to use my blog to share a little bit of my life with you. Thanks so much for visiting!
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