FINALITY - a word that has been eating at me. What does it really mean? Does it really exist? There is something in that word that makes me shiver, as if it speaks of no hope, the end of our second chances. I don't think it exists, except in one form: death. Wait, I am wrong. It does not exist in death, for death only gives the appearance of finality. In truth, death is the doorway to the very opposite of finalty: eternal life.

This week I have experienced grace again and again. Each day I make new mistakes, and I realize things about myself. I am still terrified to be walking in this new world, but I know that somewhere, somehow there lies a plan and a purpose for me. I feel so alone and empty, like I am one invisible person amongst the masses - "Lost in a sea of faces". My heart cries out, "will I ever be good enough, will I ever really make it in this harsh and competitive world." The only way to truly know is to trust. My savior has placed me here in the center of His will and I do totally trust Him. I think if I learn nothing else during this time there is one thing He wants me to grasp. I must draw near to him, nearer than I have ever been. This is the essence of life.