The burden of my heart

I don't think anyone reads this lately, but it helps me to articulate my thoughts, knowing someone may read them sometime. I feel like God is changing my heart in a new way. It feels broken and empty in the most astoudingly good way. It's that broken feeling where I know that He's bringing me more to the end of myself than I have ever been so I simply have to trust Him more. I've been realizing lately how large this battle against flesh really is. It seems even with my closest and dearest friends I must be guarded, and I realized tonight that I'm not guarding myself against them, I am guarding them from me! This battle against flesh makes me so weary and no matter how many times I come to this place, I always hear the same answer. "Trust me more. Hold on to me tighter. Hug me harder. Love me more," He always says. It's not about finding a cure for our lonely hearts in this world. The more lonely I am, the more I love Him. The best part is that He is so gracious, loving, forgiving, merciful, and understanding. My life is no longer a childish idea about having that church described "relationship with Jesus." I really know Him now. He is my Father, friend, comforter, brother, keeper of my heart, and so much more. Who am I that my God would be my Friend? I am so thankful.