Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Rebirth of Freedom

It's time this blog was given a new identity. I feel as though I have a new identity, so the transition should be easy :)
Something new and great is happening within me. I can just feel it. Finally the expressions of my heart are learning to come out of me in motion and words. I thought it was the right thing to do to keep things inside...I'm very much a thinker...but there is a balance of thinking and expression that I have learned for the first time. This makes life exciting, but challenging. Sometimes I'm still not sure wheter to speak or remain quiet, whether to act dramatically or in a calm way. So much thought can go into just a few secons worth of spoken word or deed. For me, anyway, the transition is quite hilarious. Thankfully, I have good friends to help me learn that thinking is not always the right decision. Sometimes you just have to let it out! Speak, squeal, laugh out loud, jump up and down, and don't worry about how it reflects or what people think! It is honestly so freeing. That is the word I was looking for: FREEDOM. That word defines what I have learned this semester.

Enough about my inner turmoils over self expression :) The reality of the past semester is that it was a lot of work, but very rewarding. I spent more time in the practice rooms then I ever have before. The results of the long and many times frustrating proces was a performance that I felt good about compared to the past, but that also gave me new challenges to move into the future with. The real performance comes with my senior recital some time in April of 2008. That is when everything I've leanred in four years comes together to prove that I am worthy of a Bachelor of Music. Kind of a scary thought!

I think that's enough for now, but I intend to be a bit more faithful to the blog now. We'll see how that goes after school starts next week!

2 comments:

Sarah said...

Thanks for saying hello!

I enjoyed this post so much- I find that grace, the freedom to laugh and live life without self-consciousness is the thing that God calls me to over and over and over again. I'm so glad that you have found so much freedom.

Happy new year, tell everyone hello!

crossblade said...

hello Ruth !
its been a long time :) doing good... and Happy new year !
I did read ur post.. I'm goin thru a similar thing :) I wrote something on ma blog that u might like to comment on or alteat pray about :)

and all the best for School !g