"Apathy is the glove into which evil slips its hand."
- Boede Thoene

At the beginning of the semester I wrote out a list of things I wanted to accomplish. I want to become a good "follow" in swing dancing, to take more violin students, to become the technical level of a profession orchestra musician, and many other things. But the most important thing is not the goals themselves, but the idea behind them. I desire to fight apathy with every ounce of my being. I have started by fighing those complaining ideas and thoughts that come with homework and the daily grind of school and replacing them with joyful thougts of how blessed I am that my buis day consists of playing, studying, teaching, and listening to music (with a bit of German spoken in between). I am walking in the Lord's plan and I am so blessed to have this calling! The thing that influenced this decision the most was the attitudes I noticed in my classmates last semester. Everyone was constantly tired and stressed and complaining, even about practicing thier instruments or playing in ensemble. How can this be, I asked, that they have chosen to devote thier life to the study and performance of music with no purpose?

I then began to ask, "What is my purpose in music?" The Lord answered that question for me last semester, which is a whole other story, but essentially He taught me to worship him and to pour myself out as an offering at every performance. This was taught, and continues to be learned, through my struggle with arm and wrist pain. Because I walk in a purpose to spread the Gospel and the Love of Christ through my gift of music, I have chosen to walk in an attitude of joy and love. It sounds easy, right? Oh, it is such a struggle! Every thought of negativity has to be fought, replaced and then discarded. But the Lord gives me strength and every day is a new challenge and blessing. The one thing that I have noticed besides my increased clarity in walking with the Holy Spirit is the joy I feel inside. I am content. I wish you could see me smile :)