The great division of doctrine

There are many things that we consider to be so important in our spiritual lives. These things are what define us when someone wants to know who we really are. They are how we pray, how we spend time with our creator, what our walk with Him really looks like, how our friends are involved in our Christianity, or how they're not. Sometimes we place too great an amout of importance on what we will hear on Sunday morning, and not enough on what it means to know Jesus. We bicker about what the pastor said or didn't say, or sometimes, knowing myself, we sit for hours and discuss doctrines of predestination, election, closed and open covenant, faith, grace, the list goes on and on and on... But what is it that we really need to know in order to walk with God? This question has been on my mind for quite some time. Each time I return from one of those hour-long discussions I find that there is one thing that never changes. He never ceases to use those times of thought and reflection to draw me closer to Himself, even if they only push me further from the answer to my specific question.
It is so important to me to really know what I believe. I find myself in moments of fear wondering how I can ever get married because what are the chances of me agreeing about the "important things" with anyone? But there is one thing that my Savior keeps bringing me back to. He is always reminding me that His grace will never run out, that his provision is everlasting, and that if I don't know the answer, He does. This doesn't take away from the wondering and the pondering. I struggle even now with the issue of closed covenant. I don't believe it. The church I'm called to attend teaches it. What do you say when you've seen a miracle and someone tells you they don't happen? What do you say when you've heard the voice of God and someone tells you that He doesn't speak? But in the end God continually shows me how amazing it is that we all love Him. We all see him a little differently through the lenses of our experience and upbringing, but we all love Him. Some of us find grace easier to grasp, others understand the law more readily but struggle with grace. Through these discussions and times of questioning I have learned this one thing: He has taught me a greater love for His Church. Maybe it seems odd that doctrinal discussion has brought me to that conclusion, and I don't want to sound like I'm saying that doctrine is not important, but we must know first our love for and relationship with Christ, and second, through that relationship we must allow Him to teach us the Truth, because when we come to the end of ourselves, we realize that He's the only one who really knows it anyway.