My heart tonight...

I wish I could explain the place that God has put me in for you, but because of who He has me interceding for, it is important that I don't speak of my mission field. I do say, though, that it has become evident that He is calling me to greater spiritual warfare that will effect my personal life as well as my ministry time. God is calling me to speak truth into an area where His word is misunderstood. I am so blessed that He has put me in this place because I can tangibly see that through the testing of my faith my heart will develop endurance. It is such a blessing for my place of ministry to also be a place of fruitful trial. I do want to say that although this theme seems annoyingly repetitive in my thoughts, there is still something that feels empty in my heart. I am continually learning to know my heavenly Father better, but as He gives me places in my life to intercede and minister to people, I find myself more strongly desiring a husband to share my heart with. I suppose it is a part of character development to learn to solely rely on Him, but it seems that to share what He is doing in my heart with parents, sister, and close friends just is not the same as it would be to share it with a life partner. There is something about the role of a husband as a protector of my heart that I wish I had, and I guess that means I need to just continually trust my heart to God. I know He has me in this place for specific purposes, and I don't (or try not to) doubt His will. My heart is so assured of the perfection of His purpose right now. It's just on my heart to express that even as I desire Him more, I still desire that lifelong purpose of marriage. I don't even know how to express what my heart is feeling. I can only say that my faith and trust is in the Lord, but my heart is frail and weak. I can't accomplish this purpose without Him, and He quietly whispers that He will always be there, but something in my heart wishes I was also ready for the earthly "other half" He has prepared for me. I feel like now that I'm kind of grown up I've realised that I'm missing part of myself..I think I'm just rambling now. Thank you for listening and I hope that somehow the trials of my heart have encouraged you in your life.